One of the things I absolutely love about living with Adam is how we seem to bring out the dreamer in one another. The first month we lived in our new home I swear 90% of our waking time was spent frantically detailing all the things we could renovate, change, add, build, replace, or fix. We would stand at the window, leering out at our basic and dull backyard and become so over flowing with excitement about BENCHES! PLANTS! GARDENS! FENCES! that it was not uncommon for these dream worlds to come bursting into reality in the form of explosive arguments as our different tastes suddenly collided like two drunken truck drivers heading the wrong direction on the interstate. Yes, you read that right, I just admitted that the number one thing Adam and I argue about is DECORATING. And yes, one time we did actually get into a screaming, crying, walk away to your separate corners argument over framed pictures. It is quite possible we are actually two middle aged gay men with very different flourishes for interior decorating. Let me give you a quick example of what I mean when I say our tastes 'collide'. Below we have a perfect example of what Adam would refer to as, "clean lines." Adam's perfect desk would have nothing but a monitor on it, his couch a land with no pillows, a wall with a single piece of modern art. I'm pretty sure this room is where he goes in his dreams, after he threw away the flowers on that back wall. I must admit though that the coffee table in this room is pretty amazing. I'm sure Adam saw this and then googled it to see if he can sneak it into our living room.
(photo credit, Desire to Inspire)
On the other hand, I like COLOR. I want pillows, and weird art, I want pictures everywhere, and books overflowing on shelves. I want my rug to say something about who I am, but mostly I can't get enough of this orange. I want to read and read and read some more on this couch.
(photo credit, Desire to Inspire/Kimberly Hall)
The striking differences of our taste in home decor can at times make me wish I lived with a man who let me have all the control when it comes to decorating our space. The first time I was rebuked for buying a bathroom rug without checking in with the personal tastes of my roomie hit me like a slap in the face. Yet as much as I sometimes loath that I can't simply HAVE IT MY WAY, I also can slowly feel my deep rooted stubbornness softening.
Pretty sure my close family and friends just all collectively rolled their eyes. But it’s true! It has been nearly a year since Adam and I took this crazy jump and relocated from Seattle to Olympia and then really lost our minds and bought our first house. In the beginning our decorating arguments raged on and on as we each attempted to insert our independence and identity into our shared space, our shared life. Yet over time the screaming and crying matches over coffee tables or paint colors have softened to conversations, although sometimes still quite heated I’ll admit, that are more so focused around explanations regarding our very different expectations, and attempting to better our communication with one another. Even if it is only about paint colors. We have lists and lists of things we still wish to do. Gardens to plant, rooms to paint, items to build, pictures to print, and even though I’m still unsure about the final color we painted the bathroom over the weekend (come on Adam admit it looks more purple than grey!), the fact that we got through 5 straight hours of painting and talking on and on about future house projects without someone storming out of the house in a hissy fit is absolutely a testament to one’s ability to change.
See, you CAN teach an old dog new ticks.
Even if it's only to stop being such a controlling biatch.
the Accidental Olympian