The Accidental Olympian

GOOGLE TEARS

So there I was, eating the worlds biggest plate of 7 layer bean dip, drinking shitty American beer, yelling at the tv and trying my best to fill in for Adam as the resident 'dude' during the Superbowl. For a while there I think I was doing pretty damn well.

Until I saw this commercial.

(Parisian Love, Google)

As my eyes welled up with tears during the last shot I was exposed for the total and complete vagina that I really am.

Damn you Google.

I still love you though, you softy.

Ashley, the Accidental Olympian

TIRE

Adam said he could pick out a better chew toy for Oly than I could. He picked a tire and I laughed at his ignorance. I mean what dog wants to chew on a miniature version of a car tire?

  OH. Apparently this one. 

Ashley, the Accidental Olympian

KIDS, I THINK I WON SOMETHING

So first I was tagged by Kelly of The Startup Wife with this little thingamajig,

and honestly the first thing that crossed my mind when I saw I was mentioned was, "What the hell is that man wearing over his unitard?" No seriously. What is that? Plus, the other dude, WHAT IS WITH THE EYE MAKEUP? After I got over the outfits I was also sort of tickled because ME! A blogger friendship-bracelet badge thing! Neat.   

But, honestly I was too lazy to follow through.

And then I just saw that Junket of Junket Juice who is lovely and I want to someday get very silly drunk with gave me this whatsadozit,

and I was like FINE I WILL PLAY ALONG BECAUSE ONE OF YOU THINKS I HAVE KARATE SKILLS, AND THE OTHER MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON ME. 

Here's how this works. I am 'supposed' to tell you 7 random things about me, but hello, my blog is like 7 million random things about me. Instead I will move on to section #2 of this chain gang letter and just tell you about 5 bloggers I read and love and totally might have a blog crush on. Most of these people don't read my work and are like 700 times more internet cool than little o'l me and therefore would never even think to participate, but that's ok with me because these things kinda give me stress guilt and then I sweat too much from all the pressure. I just want you to look at their sites and tell them how pretty you think they are.

• Jamie of A Life in Translation (Her blog tag line is basically why I hit 'subscribe'.)

• Miss Britt of well, Miss Britt (the writing, oh the writing.)

• Holly of Nothing but Bonfires (She has a British accent, which DUH I know you can't actually 'hear' in her writing, but it makes my blog crush on her all the more creepy and therefore I needed to over share that with you. OH, but she's also a tremendous writer. Does that make up for the fact that I admitted I have a crush on her? No? DAMN.)

• Shauna Glenn of ShaunaGlenn.com (HI-LARIOUS. Nuf Said.) 

• Ree of Pioneer Woman (Some of the best recipes, pictures, and honestly the worlds BEST online blog love story of all time. I know I am way late on the Ree=Amazing bandwagon, but whatevs.)

• Mona of Kirida.com (I know this is blog #6 and therefore not sticking to my 5 blogger thing I said before, but I don't follow rules well. And Mona's too cool for blog tagging rules anyway so she'll be proud I broke the rules in her honor.)

• Oh, and while I'm breaking the rules, how about Jen of One Wandering (waves manically), "Hi blog friend!" She's cool too, so go meander through her website. She takes beautiful pictures and writes lovely pieces, and once even said she'd bake me cookies and mail them to me. Which reminds me, JEN WHERE ARE THE COOKIES?

• Someone stop me this is too much fun. My LAST (I promise) blog love I need to share with you is Rebecca of Girls Gone Child. (There is something about the way she writes that has me tearing up 9 times out of 10 while reading her work. Like this post. OMG that post. And, yesterday she jumped over to my blog and left a comment. And then I died. TWICE.)

So there you have it. These people are all insanely cooler than I am and will probably never see that I called them out as rockstars, but I don't care. They're still totally stalk worthy. I suggest you do the same. 

WISHING FOR GROWING PAINS

A while back Adam's good friend came to visit and Oly spent the entire time following him around and making sure that her nose made contact with his body with each new movement he made. And I'm not talking like once or twice she'd walk over and check in with our guest. I'm talking full on constant molestation if he dared move from couch to kitchen. Oly was under the impression that there was a game going on called, 'Touch the Visitor', except our poor visitor was never asked if he'd like to play this wonderful and magical game.

What can I say? We don't play fair at this house.

Later on in the weekend, after much nose molesting, and a few desperate cries of, "OMG DOG GIVE IT A REST!" I happened to glance over and catch Oly peacefully asleep on our guest's lap. Adam's friend turned to me ever so slowly and gave me this look of, "NOW I get it. You put up with all the crap because of times like this..."

And he's right. I think of sleeping Oly, tired Oly, and exhausted Oly as a foreshadowing into life with Oly The Adult Dog. Those peaceful times where she's cuddling next to you completely exhausted, perfect for snuggling and loving make all those previous moments where her head is spinning around her body Exorcist style just a tad more bearable. 

Ashley, the Accidental Olympian

REPAIRS, PLANS, AND REMOLDING, OH MY!

One of the things I absolutely love about living with Adam is how we seem to bring out the dreamer in one another. The first month we lived in our new home I swear 90% of our waking time was spent frantically detailing all the things we could renovate, change, add, build, replace, or fix. We would stand at the window, leering out at our basic and dull backyard and become so over flowing with excitement about BENCHES! PLANTS! GARDENS! FENCES! that it was not uncommon for these dream worlds to come bursting into reality in the form of explosive arguments as our different tastes suddenly collided like two drunken truck drivers heading the wrong direction on the interstate.

Yes, you read that right, I just admitted that the number one thing Adam and I argue about is DECORATING. And yes, one time we did actually get into a screaming, crying, walk away to your separate corners argument over framed pictures.

It is quite possible we are actually two middle aged gay men with very different flourishes for interior decorating.

Let me give you a quick example of what I mean when I say our tastes 'collide'. Below we have a perfect example of what Adam would refer to as, "clean lines." Adam's perfect desk would have nothing but a monitor on it, his couch a land with no pillows, a wall with a single piece of modern art. I'm pretty sure this room is where he goes in his dreams, after he threw away the flowers on that back wall. I must admit though that the coffee table in this room is pretty amazing. I'm sure Adam saw this and then googled it to see if he can sneak it into our living room.

(photo credit, Desire to Inspire)

On the other hand, I like COLOR. I want pillows, and weird art, I want pictures everywhere, and books overflowing on shelves. I want my rug to say something about who I am, but mostly I can't get enough of this orange. I want to read and read and read some more on this couch.

(photo credit, Desire to Inspire/Kimberly Hall)

The striking differences of our taste in home decor can at times make me wish I lived with a man who let me have all the control when it comes to decorating our space. The first time I was rebuked for buying a bathroom rug without checking in with the personal tastes of my roomie hit me like a slap in the face. Yet as much as I sometimes loath that I can't simply HAVE IT MY WAY, I also can slowly feel my deep rooted stubbornness softening.

Pretty sure my close family and friends just all collectively rolled their eyes.

But it’s true!

It has been nearly a year since Adam and I took this crazy jump and relocated from Seattle to Olympia and then really lost our minds and bought our first house. In the beginning our decorating arguments raged on and on as we each attempted to insert our independence and identity into our shared space, our shared life. Yet over time the screaming and crying matches over coffee tables or paint colors have softened to conversations, although sometimes still quite heated I’ll admit, that are more so focused around explanations regarding our very different expectations, and attempting to better our communication with one another. Even if it is only about paint colors. 

We have lists and lists of things we still wish to do. Gardens to plant, rooms to paint, items to build, pictures to print, and even though I’m still unsure about the final color we painted the bathroom over the weekend (come on Adam admit it looks more purple than grey!), the fact that we got through 5 straight hours of painting and talking on and on about future house projects without someone storming out of the house in a hissy fit is absolutely a testament to one’s ability to change.

See, you CAN teach an old dog new ticks. 

Even if it's only to stop being such a controlling biatch.

the Accidental Olympian