This is Alex Conrad, I call him AC for short. He's my new boyfriend, isn't he handsome? I can't stop gazing at him. There isn't anywhere else I'd rather be than sitting right beside him. The way he sits there acting so sexy, being all, "Baby, come closer and let me cool you off with my powerful lungs." (sigh) I never knew what I was missing until AC came into my life. I thought Adam would be jealous, being usurped in his own home, but even Adam's mesmerized by AC's cool demeanor. We're just one big happy family over here now and I'm just tickled.
And just in case you think I'm being dramatic, read this... You can't make this shit up people.
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