The Accidental Olympian

ARE YOU TIRED? BECAUSE I AM.

I am only just beginning to feel normal again after the worlds worst cold decided to come take host in my body for the Thanksgiving weekend. I don't think anyone ever likes being sick, but coming down with a colossal illness a day before you have three people arriving for Thanksgiving weekend just makes it all the more unbearable.

"HI! Thanks so much for driving 5-7 hours in traffic and pouring rain to spend Thanksgiving with Adam and I! Now shoo, get yourself in the kitchen and cook me Thanksgiving dinner!"

I honestly wasn't able to do a damn thing. As I lay on the couch, coughing, and wheezing, and contemplating if taking 8 Sudafed at the same time would help me, or kill me, Adam's parents stepped in and took over dinner. As thankful as I was for their assistance with the meal, to be honest they could have served me anything and I would have been pleased. I was so sick I can't even tell you what a single item on my plate tasted like. Even the deathly strong homemade horseradish sauce Adam SWORE up and down would clear my sinuses barely registered on my pallet.

Have you ever eaten pumpkin pie without the ability to taste it? WELL DON'T. Eating pumpkin pie without being able to taste it is like sitting down to eat a giant slice of baby food. It's amazing what an important role consistency and a sense of smell play in the whole eating game.

Now that the holiday weekend is officially over and all the guest have left I am amazed at the roller coaster of emotions I've been through in one weekend. For my entire life holidays have always existed at my parents home. To celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas the only option was to come home and allow them to orchestrate the holiday festivities. I hadn't realized until now how different a holiday looks and feels when it's being fully contained in MY home.

I'm realizing I struggle with EXPECTATIONS. For everyone else in my life, they only wish to share a holiday with me. I on the other hand am so filled with EXPECTATIONS that at times I find it nearly impossible to relax. Halfway through this weekend I actually had a full on breakdown. Holed up in my room I called my father sobbing and told him I couldn't take it, I couldn't have the family at my house this Christmas. It would kill me.

 

Yet, as I stood on my front lawn and looked up at the Christmas light masterpiece Adam and his father had created, I wanted nothing more than to have my entire family, and everyone I ever knew come to my house this Christmas. Part of me feels like the anxiety and stress I feel regarding hosting a holiday in my home just comes with the territory of being a newbie. With time I'm hoping I will learn what it means to be the family holiday host, and in a few years I'll look back at these early freak outs and laugh at my crippling neurosis.

Either that or I'll become a hermit.

I'm hoping for the sake of anyone close to me that I just sack up and learn to cope like a big girl.

THANKS & GIVING

My impulse in this moment is to be anything BUT thankful. I mean, I am hosting my very first ‘real’ Thanksgiving dinner, and the stress of that alone would send anyone a little nuts. Toss in the fact that this will be the first time Adam and I mix our family members during the holidays just adds another level of chaos to an already wild day. Top that all off with a whopping illness the likes of which I haven't experienced in years and I don’t think a single person would fault me if I said I was fighting the urge to crawl under the covers and reemerge on Monday when the Thanksgiving holiday has passed. 

BUT, even with all that, the stress, and the anxiety, and the illness there is a lot to be thankful and excited about today.

When I left for college, Thanksgiving was one of those holidays that sort of had to fall by the wayside. Tickets were always way too much for our family to justify spending for a four day weekend, and so very quickly I learned the easiest way not to be sad on Thanksgiving was to do non-Thanksgiving-ish things. Like go to Canada with a girlfriend to shop, eat Italian food, and go on a bar crawl. It's hard to think about your family and friends sitting down to a turkey dinner without you when you're 5 drinks deep, gazing into the eyes of some Canadian Mounty. 

Thanksgiving had started to become a holiday I dreaded. Who would I pawn myself on this year? How would I deflect this family holiday? But this year I've finally begun to rebuild the idea of a family filled Thanksgiving I've felt was missing. Adam and I were able to bring people from each of our families together under our roof to eat drink and be merry. Sure there have already been serious spills, issues with the menu, a pumpkin pie I am sure I under seasoned (serious WHO messes up pumpkin pie? It has like 2 ingredients!), a dog fight, and I am am certain there are more mishaps to come, but it feels worth it. This very well could be the heavy doses of cold medicine talking, but at this point I'm too doped up to question. 

Surprisingly all the stress and nonsense which would typically be driving me absolutely insane doesn't seem to matter. Right now as family gathers around the fire, drinks coffee and gears up for a truly tremendous eat-a-ton tonight, there is nowhere I'd rather be. This is such an interesting glimmer into my future, a future where once again I might enjoy Thanksgiving because it will represent a time of coming together, instead of a holiday that reminds me of all that I am missing.

I wish you a family or friend filled holiday weekend. And if you're not able to surround yourself with friends and family this year, I strongly suggest you head North and find yourself a friendly Canadian. They really have this magical power to make the sting of the holidays dissipate with ease.

FOILED PLANS

The greatest thing about spending time with a close friend you haven't seen in a while is that even when all your previous plans of fabulousness, nonsense, and mindless fraternization fall through, you can still manage to have an amazing night.

 

My 'perfect outfit' never made it out of the bag. The painfully beautiful shoes never got a chance to mangle my toes, and I never even put a dab of makeup on. My five pennies weren't spent on tequila shots, but on Doritos, and two bottles of Cook's Champagne (I am pretty sure I just heard my friend who lives in France sigh dramatically after reading the words Cook's and Champagne in the same sentence). But what can I say, we're classy bitches.

Sitting there in my borrowed zebra print Snuggie, in front of the fire, watching a horrible, but also delightfully enjoyable chick flick I couldn't have been more content. Now that our friendship exists with a West Coast - East Coast divide, we let the Seattle nightlife rage below us and instead used the time we had together to just be.

In the nearly 9 months I've lived in Olympia I've met a lot of amazing people, and even been lucky enough to begin to build on some truly genuine friendships. But the newness of some of these friendships still leaves me with social anxiety, and at times I feel as if I am speed dating, without the benefits of sexual tension to keep them interested.

Yet as I sat there Saturday night in the world worst ensemble, doing basically nothing and having an amazing time, I remembered how nice it is to be apart of a seasoned friendship. These 'favorite pair of jeans' types of friendships have become priceless, place markers from various chapters of my life, and the life preservers that enable me to feel as if life is indeed manageable.

Who knew a night in with junk food and bad sparking wine could help put life just a little more into perspective?

JUST CALL ME THE EBENEZER SCROOGE, OF LIFE

My miserly instincts kicked in full swing while I was trying to think about my upcoming weekend. Slowly but surely I’ve trained myself to think of events, items, or vacations and then scream, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THANK YOU!” Can’t buy it, don’t want it, wont even be enjoyable I tell myself.

Like I’ve told my mother, the best way to stay on budget is to stay the fuck home.

So when my wonderful friend told me she requested my presence this weekend in Seattle for a romping good time of being the ridiculous, dancing with bras on our heads, impromptu Snuggie fashion show, 'Regular Hour' all-stars, harassing strangers in bars by calling them all ‘douche-canoes’ duo we’ve been known to be, my gut response was, “HELL YA BITCH! COUNT ME AND MY SHINY PANTIES IN!”

Shiny panties and all, mere moments after I got off the phone, the euphoria began to wear off. Suddenly my stomach began to cramp and it was all I could do to stop myself from writhing on the floor mumbling, “Too much money, too much money, too much money,” over and over and over. 

It used to be that I just had gut wrenchingly powerful buyers remorse. I’ve grown accustomed to the fact that after I buy something it will take all the energy in the world to stop myself from returning it seconds after I’ve swiped my card. I accepted a long time ago that I have two ways to deal with this crippling buyers remorse. Either flee the store as if it has suddenly caught fire behind me, thereby ensuring I am unable to return the recently purchased items, or just give into the impulse and go ahead and return nearly everything I’ve ever desired.

But this latest emotion, this buyer’s remorse for my LIFE is fairly new. I’ve yet to completely wrap my head around the concept that seconds after my mouth commits me to something, my mind begins to reel as I search for a way to bail. Before I know it, I am hunting for any excuse to stay home with my measly five pennies, rocking them to sleep, bathing them and singing them sweet sweet lullabies. 

Against every urge in my being, this weekend I am taking a page from my own book, throwing my hands up and allowing myself to have some FUN. I mean, you better believe I'll find a way to do this weekend up in the cheapest way imaginable, "OHHHHH LOOK! A BAR MAT SHOT IS ONLY 50 CENTS! COUNT ME IN FOR TWELVE OF THOSE MR!" But I'll be there. And that's all that matters at this point.

One of my closest friends will be in town and damn it I want to get dressed up in my Saturday night finest, wear beautiful shoes that pinch my feet, I want to catch up with college friends I haven’t seen in AGES, I want to laugh too loud, dance in living rooms, have conversations with strangers, maybe even wear a lamp shade on my head because GODDAMN IT I’M 24 AND THIS IS WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO BE DOING WITH MY LIFE!

Right?

Either way, this weekend I say fuck those five pennies and the horse they rode in on.

OLY'S iPHONE PHOTO SESSION

 

All images were taken with photo applications on my iPhone.  Top two made with CameraBag (LOVE that app), third image using ShakeItPhoto, and the last one using my new favorite toy CameraBag.

Go, download, and take many many pictures of your pets, family and friends. Extra points if you take way too many pictures of your pets and allow me to feel for a moment I might not be deranged and slightly obsessed like Adam says I am.

But COME ON! SHE'S CUTE RIGHT?