FROST

For the second day in a row every surface finds itself covered with a hostile layer of frost and ice. Looking upon a landscape freshly dusted with snow I often feel comforted, warm, in fact delighted to see a wonderland has enveloped my world as I was sleeping. But ice, ice is harsh, uninviting and bitingly cold. The beauty of the tiny crystals is lost on me and all I tend to see is a hostile and uninviting world.

Ice is snows spiteful sibling, and lately I fear I emulate her wrath.


This morning I welcomed the ice. The cold bit my cheeks, hands, and core and helped to contain the fog and confusion swirling within me.

What if it was me who brought about the ice because of the cold of my own actions? What if this morning the ice is in actuality the reflection of the chilling cold that lies within me?

How ever do I go about thawing this terrible terrible mess?

Comments

[Joy Jenkins]

Ohhhh, you ice queen. I'll get you crown for x-mas. yes, made of ice. Although, it may melt while I'm making it down her in sunny Cali!
(PS, i love the cold.)

[Jen A.]

"Ice is snows spiteful sibling, and lately I fear I emulate her wrath."

Wow my dear, that was beautifully written! I think it's time you stopped saying you "wished" you wrote more poetically! :) Isn't it nice when something -- some element of your day -- speaks to you in a way that allows you to pour forth words?! I love those moments.

I am a little sad to hear that you are picturing yourself as icy though... it's hard to believe you would feel that way, because you've been nothing but a warm Snuggie towards me for these past few weeks that I've been torturing myself with worry.

So if you have been icy, try to think about it objectively... often I find that when I'm icy there's a real, understandable reason. Perhaps your insides have frozen over something nasty intentionally in order to allow it to chill down, to lose some of it's bite before thawing it out and releasing it into the world. In that case, curl up on the couch this weekend with a DVD (Ice Age, anyone?!) and a puppy and let that shit sit for a night. You will thaw out when it's safe to do so! *HUG*

[Ashley, The Accidental Olympian]

JOY - Please please send me an ice crown! Make sure the points are very sharp so I might impale my subjects...

[Ashley, The Accidental Olympian]

JEN - Thank you for the compliment! I find a lot of times when I am writing I hardly think about the things I type which makes me feel they are lacking. Its only after going back and rereading am I able to see the eloquence of certain phrases. Usually to my own surprise. :) 

The icy feeling surrounding my decision and my actions is beginning to thaw, although there is still some icy guilt surrounding me. Seeing as the weather has continued its onslaught of ice and cold as well, I fear I might not be entirely out of the woods just yet.

One good thing that has come from this storm, it seems I learned a mighty lesson...

[Jen A.]

Don't you hate it when crappy weather ends up matching your mood?! Right now it's all gray and gross and every other day it rains. Come Saturday we're supposed to get SNOW. Brr!

Decision :: Actions :: Lesson?! Sounds like you've had a Big Week! Also sounds like you could use a *HUG*! Oh! And don't forget the Hot Scotch! (A mug of hot chocolate with a shot of Buttershots in it... Heaven!)

[Ashley, The Accidental Olympian]

JEN - I could use a hug, and a time machine...

[Rachel]

I'm sorry you're feeling icky. What's the terrible mess? Maybe it's not as terrible as you think.

[Ashley, The Accidental Olympian]

RACHEL - True, it's not nearly as terrible a few days later as it seemed at first, but it's still not great. As time goes on I'm sorting through the mess so I guess that's something. One of these days I'll put pen to paper on the issue...

Still searching for true clarity.