REPAIRS, PLANS, AND REMOLDING, OH MY!

One of the things I absolutely love about living with Adam is how we seem to bring out the dreamer in one another. The first month we lived in our new home I swear 90% of our waking time was spent frantically detailing all the things we could renovate, change, add, build, replace, or fix. We would stand at the window, leering out at our basic and dull backyard and become so overflowing with excitement about BENCHES! PLANTS! GARDENS! FENCES! that it was not uncommon for these dream worlds to come bursting into reality in the form of explosive arguments as our different tastes suddenly collided like two drunken truck drivers heading the wrong direction on the interstate.

Yes, you read that right, I just admitted that the number one thing Adam and I argue about is DECORATING. And yes, one time we did actually get into a screaming, crying, walk away to your separate corners argument over framed pictures.

It is quite possible we are actually two middle aged gay men with very different flourishes for interior decorating.

Let me give you a quick example of what I mean when I say our tastes 'collide'. Below we have a perfect example of what Adam would refer to as, "clean lines." Adam's perfect desk would have nothing but a monitor on it, his couch a land with no pillows, a wall with a single piece of modern art. I'm pretty sure this room is where he goes in his dreams, after he threw away the flowers on that back wall. I must admit though that the coffee table in this room is pretty amazing. I'm sure Adam saw this and then googled it to see if he can sneak it into our living room.

(photo credit, Desire to Inspire)

On the other hand, I like COLOR. I want pillows, and weird art, I want pictures everywhere, and books overflowing on shelves. I want my rug to say something about who I am, but mostly I can't get enough of this orange. I want to read and read and read some more on this couch.

(photo credit, Desire to Inspire/Kimberly Hall)

The striking differences of our taste in home decor can at times make me wish I lived with a man who let me have all the control when it comes to decorating our space. The first time I was rebuked for buying a bathroom rug without checking in with the personal tastes of my roomie hit me like a slap in the face. Yet as much as I sometimes loath that I can't simply HAVE IT MY WAY, I also can slowly feel my deep rooted stubbornness softening.

Pretty sure my close family and friends just all collectively rolled their eyes.

But it’s true!

It has been nearly a year since Adam and I took this crazy jump and relocated from Seattle to Olympia and then really lost our minds and bought our first house. In the beginning our decorating arguments raged on and on as we each attempted to insert our independence and identity into our shared space, our shared life. Yet over time the screaming and crying matches over coffee tables or paint colors have softened to conversations, although sometimes still quite heated I’ll admit, that are more so focused around explanations regarding our very different expectations, and attempting to better our communication with one another. Even if it is only about paint colors. 

We have lists and lists of things we still wish to do. Gardens to plant, rooms to paint, items to build, pictures to print, and even though I’m still unsure about the final color we painted the bathroom over the weekend (come on Adam admit it looks more purple than grey!), the fact that we got through 5 straight hours of painting and talking on and on about future house projects without someone storming out of the house in a hissy fit is absolutely a testament to one’s ability to change.

See, you CAN teach an old dog new ticks. 

Even if it's only to stop being such a controlling biatch.

Ashley, the Accidental Olympian

Comments

[Tori]

I lucked out in that my partner has zero penchant for or interest in interior design. The stubborn bitch in me lives on!

[Jen A.]

That *is* an awesome coffee table!! I guess my tastes fall somewhere in between... I like to be comfortable, to feel as if I can walk into a room and sit anywhere -- couch, chair, floor. Put my feet up, read, watch a movie... So, "Adam's room" is too stark and "Ashley's room" has too many pillows -- I'd constantly be fixing them, arranging them, sorting them. LOL However, that orange? That's a GREAT color... and I love those leaf shapes on the wall. (ART! ART! ART! I have a "collage" of framed photographs on the wall behind my couch.)

What I think is most interesting is how you began this post with such a positive light (we "bring out the dreamer in one another"), then detail how these dreams bring your differences to the forefront and create both arguments and discussions... but it's all stated with such tongue-in-cheek humor, but I really get the feeling that the two of you sort of enjoy bantering it out, cantilevering each other's desires against the weight of the other to realize this dream of home ownership together. I've watched other friends go through a similar learning curve, and I think the two of you will be pleasantly surprised at how much you BOTH enjoy the final compromise. *HUG*

[Kristy]

I love the second photo of the room minus those diapers hanging from the ceiling. When I read this line "It is quite possible we are actually two middle aged gay men with very different flourishes for interior decorating" I choked up my coffee. You owe me for the cleaning bill for this shirt.

Rick doesn't care what I do. I wish he had an opinion. I'm always like "please tell me which teapot you like..please oh please!" And he says, "Whichever one you want". This is great, I can do whatever I want but his having no opinion on anything means I have to do everything myself with regards to home decor. Your post here reminds me that sometimes we just have to find a good balance...no matter what we run into in terms of differences with our partners.

[Ashley, The Accidental Olympian]

TORI -- BITCH ON GIRL!

JEN -- I have to say it, you sound like Goldy Locks! "Adam's room is too sterile, Ashley's room is too cluttered, but Jen's room is JUST RIGHT!" :)

And yes Jen you're so right, even though Adam and my arguments can reach hellish highs, we do love the banter. In most cases we feed off one another well, we build off each others ideas, and we're *learning* to mesh our tastes together. Our faults lie in the fact that sometimes all that passion and excitement just can't help but spill over. But we're working on our clean up skills.

KRISTY -- Just send me the bill and I'll get that shirt taken care of. And by taken care of I mean let Oly chew on it.