No Adam and I didn't break up. He didn't cheat on me with a hooker in Vegas, and I'm not taking the house, the dog, and the garden and making him sleep outside until the property sells.
Although that would be QUITE the story, no?
No, last week I made a decision regarding something that was once fun, like sparkly down into my toes fun, can't wait to do it again fun, CAN I GO 14 TIMES IN ONE WEEK kind of fun, that suddenly seemed to be seriously lacking all the sparkles and goodness that had been bringing me back week after week. And so there I was, with this thing that took up oodles and oodles of time, money and energy, and suddenly 80% of the time I was coming home in a rage.
It just wasn't right anymore.
Maybe it was my fault all the happiness was gone.
Maybe I needed to try harder.
Maybe I should have asked louder for help.
Or maybe we just didn't fit, roller derby and I.
There, I said it. Derby and I broke up.
But, I think it was mutual. At least that's what Derby said.
I mean, we're still going to be friends, Derby and I.
At least I hope so.
I will come clean and say I've been stalking Derby on Facebook and Derby's website since I made my decision and I want Derby to be happy with everything that it does, and I know we're not right for one another anymore, but I can't also help but think late at night when I look at the ceiling that I also really miss Derby.
Like maybe we just needed couples therapy. Or a break! OR maybe we should have just had an open relationship. Maybe that would have worked!
Do you think Derby misses me too?
I hope so.
But also hope Derby goes on to do bigger and better things.
It was me Derby, not you.
(dramatic sigh)
Breakups are a bitch people.
I'm thinking that when it's all said and done, if Derby and I never find one another again, if we simply exist as fragments of each others memories, I know I'll never sit there on my death bed and say, "I wish I had tried roller derby."
Damn you happiness.
Ashley, the Accidental Olympian
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