By the magic of blog linking, somehow I recently stumbled upon a blog called, mamapundit. Sadly I didn’t find her corner of the internet because of a funny post of hers, or a rave review, but because she had recently lost her son Henry after his most terrible battle with a drug overdose and traumatic head injury.

Right now you are saying to yourself, “Why in the world is Ashley talking about this?”

Because as I read more and more of her words, as I read about her family’s struggle with this shocking and terrifying loss, I can’t help but suffer the most vivid of flashbacks.

Henry was beaten because of a drug deal gone wrong (they are assuming), and in the aftermath of the beating took a lethal dose of drugs. The combination caused him to spend over a month in the hospital fighting desperately for his life with his family by his side, only to eventually lose his tremendous and heartbreaking battle for his life.

In the aftermath of his death his family, rightfully so, wants answers. To his beating. To the reason no one called 911 for over 24 hours. To his following drug overdose.

And the Knox County Sheriffs Department has yet to provide them with any answers, convictions, or peace of mind. Although they say they are working on it.

If I was the sort of person who prayed, I would pray for them to find answers, for justice to be served quickly, for their confusion and the questions surrounding their son’s terrible end to come to some sort of conclusion.

Sadly, I understand the reality of how NOT like Law and Order our law enforcement and justice system really is.

In the aftermath of my Grandmother’s murder we all made comments about how it seemed everything wasn’t going to be resolved in a neat little one hour segment. What a shame. Turns out the main thing the crime dramas leave out of their programs are the unanswered questions, the sometimes YEARS of waiting with no leads, the complete unraveling of the families in the aftermath, and the ridiculousness of a real life crime investigation.

In the absence of answers, in the absence of any real investigation, instead we all stood around in a circle and could only ask the sky, “Why?” It seemed all we ever did was demand answers from people who could give us nothing, and when it seemed especially hopeless, some even pointed fingers at one another.

I hope down to the bottom of my being that Henry’s family receives from Knoxville what Albuquerque failed to provide my family with for so very long. I hope so emphatically that they aren’t forced to wait three silent years.

Because as much as we want to believe that everything can be solved in a neat one hour package, the reality of it all is that most times there is no justice.

Or when it finally does come, it’s so late in arriving, and so many other people have been hurt in the time that lapses that by the time they tell you they’ve found you answers, you aren’t sure if you should even believe them. How can they have found the answer now? Why this person? Why so long? Why did so many other people have to die before you could find justice? And when the judge makes his ruling and all the families shuffle out of the courtroom, does it even really feel like justice?

Investigations with no end, family members battling drug addictions, two topics that all hit far too close to home for me.

Please visit mamapundit and give her and her family the support they most desperately need. And if you’re feeling especially generous, please find it in yourself to give to her son’s foundation. A scholarship intended to fund treatment and deliver guidance to youth that so desperately need it. Feeling even more generous? Maybe donate to a victims assistance organization here in WA I’ve donated to before in memory of my Grandmother.

Please, as cheesy as it sounds, hug someone close to you and tell them that you love them.

This world is a shitty shitty place sometimes.

Ashley, the Accidental Olympian