Anyone who has ever learned to drive knows what it is like to be behind the wheel and reach that place in the beginning where you’ve adapted a false sense of newbie cocky beginner driver ease. You don’t actually know much of anything about anything, but hot damn you sure feel like you do.

But then some old lady steps into the crosswalk when you thought she was staying put, or the person who was turning right suddenly decides not to turn right and all of a sudden you have to stop, NOW.

And since you’re a little green with this whole driving thing, you panic and just slam on the break with all the force and gusto you can muster.

To the point where instead of stopping you STOP!!!!!!! Thereby giving everyone in the car serious whiplash.

But you make a mental note that stopping before mowing down old ladies is important, but there is still a way to come to a stop without breaking everyone’s neck. Crisis averted, and lesson learned.

There are similar things that happen when you’re learning to drive a motorcycle. There are a lot of little mistakes you make when you’re starting out, such as when you stall out before you’ve even moved a millimeter because you forget the clutch is on your HAND. You’ll inevitably also have a moment where you are standing still and completely lose your balance and dump your bike on the ground. Because that bitch is HEAVY. And even better, you are guaranteed to have an OH SHIT I NEED TO BREAK NOW moment on your bike same as that time back when you were learning to drive a car.

The difference is that instead of giving yourself a case of ‘make a mental note to come to a gradual stop next time to avoid whiplash’ moment, you’ll give yourself road rash.

It might look a little like this.

Note the dirt in my nose. And the nice wound on my knee.

Moto Crash

Turns out I need to save up for a
helmet, gloves, and those awesome indestructible motorcycle pants I
clearly was not wearing.

I guess we’ll call this a learning experience?

Ashley, the Accidental Olympian

  • Jen A.

    ROFL, that’s AWESOME Ashley! What kind of bike were you learning/practicing on? I got my motorcycle back in (what was it? 2005?)… anyway, ALL of my dumping stories have been at less than 10 mph. One day you and I shall get together over a pitcher of margaritas, and I’ll lay my various embarrassments down before you whilst laughing at myself loudly. Because seriously? Any stories involving gate guards and a downed motorcycle are worth a little extra lime! :)

  • the Grumbles

    gloves gloves gloves gloves gloves. please wear gloves. jon has had to lay his bike down before on the road and please, please wear gloves so you don’t get hand road-rash. i just got my first helmet so i can learn too! go you!

    our neighbor is a wee little girl about my size and she drives this big black honda bike. buuuuut… she’s kinda a bitch. one time i was out trimming crap in the yard and i saw her bike fall over on top of her. and she was trapped. and i laughed, but don’t tell anyone. and jon ran out and helped her get out from under it.

    the slow fall-overs are the funniest.

  • Dear Mason

    Yay!!! The biggest lesson I ever learned on my dirtbike- Puddles can be deceivingly deep… And may I also suggest: BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS. They will save your ankles a million times.

  • Ashley, the Accidental Olympian

    JEN — I too was going under 10 miles an hour, I just PANICKED and hit the breaks with the force of a million pounds, and ended up on the ground. Thankfully it was right in front of Adam’s parents house so I could hobble inside and receive medical attention. The bike is Adam’s and it is a… who knows! All I know is it is a Honda, and it is half dirt bike, half street legal. And all I know is I want one.

    GRUMBLES — I promise you I will have gloves next time. And a helmet. And those cool super pants motorcycle people wear.

    And DEAR MASON I’ll even have boots!

    Because of course, had I had all those things on I wouldn’t have ended up with a scabbed knee and had to have Adam’s dad dig gravel out of my hand with a knife. Awesome.

    P.s. I never thought I’d say this, but I totally love motorcycles…

  • Dear Mason

    😉 Those are called Dualsports, love. Feel free to erase this message so no one will know you didnt already know. You know? Haha. I had a scar that had a piece of gravel stuck in it for a year. Then I had to pop it out like a ZIT. It was awesome. Have fun!

  • NewTeacherWife

    Well, I’m glad you are okay and it wasn’t anything worse! You should get a really sweet helmet…I saw a very serious guy rising a Harley in a sparkle blue helmet. It was hilarious.

  • Shauna (Fido & Wino)

    At least you fell for a cool reason. You could have got dirt all over your face for tripping off a curb or something. That would suck.

    That said: BE CAREFUL. Bikes are dangerous dangerous dangerous.

    I will put my 70 year old self away now, but for serious: BE CAREFUL WOMAN.

  • Megs

    Ouch. Glad you are relatively okay.

    You know there’s a gentleman in my neighborhood who rides his bike with a super sweet helmet that looks like it is constructed of styrofoam and duct tape. Its just a thought.

  • marti

    Get one of those helmets that have fake hair on it!

  • You’re Lucky I Don’t Have a Gun…

    the dirt on your nose made my day.