I wanted to stop talking about the puppy (who we named Stella by the way), I really did. I had this whole other post ready for you that wasn't even about this damn dog, and then Saturday happened. And I knew I needed to share the horror with you.
To help you get the true feeling of our visit to the vet yesterday (yes, we've had her all of three days and we were already in the vet. Foreshadow much?) I am going to explain what happened from the perspective of if I had been the patient at a human doctor.
Let's say I've been having a headache (puppy was having what appeared to be a UTI. And by explaining the puppies illness I just got this whole human version of the story really confusing. Already. You're in for it!).
So I go to the doctor.
They take a urine sample to check to see if I have some, who knows, let's say imbalance that might be causing my headaches. If they see it in my urine, I get some pills and TA-DA headaches gone.
Before they take my sample I mention an issue I'm having with an urge to eat my own poop (ok, well you have to know that one is ALL THE DOGS ISSUE. Man I suck at this story) and the doctor says she can prescribe me something that will stop that urge no problem. I'm thrilled to finally stop eating my own shit.
She returns and tells me that my urine was fine so OBVIOUSLY this means the only other reason I'm having headaches is I have a brain tumor.
I look absolutely horror stricken.
I ask how she knows I have a brain tumor based only on headaches and a non conclusive pee test.
She says it's the only other option since the pee test failed.
She says she could do some more tests, but they're just going to reveal a bad outcome. Of eventual, death.
I ask about treatment, I mean HI she just told me I'm going to die!
She says it's costly, and I'll still just die.
I cry. A lot. This woman says based on a UTI pee test I'm doomed!
Adam looks at me terrified because, wow, I'm going to die!
Doctor says if I'm really willing to go through the effort I could get a second opinion, but it's only going to be the same diagnosis. DEATH and other equally bad shit. So, it might just be a waste of money.
"I know this is horrible news, and I'm so sorry. If you're not too attached to your life, Washington state did recently pass an assisted suicide law, so we could go in the back room and just get this whole death thing over with now and save yourself and your family anymore heartache," she says.
Cue more tears.
OMG I'm going to die!
Should I just end it now?
Maybe I should just go home and cry a little first.
Since I'm going to die and all.
"I guess you wont be needing these anti poop eating meds anymore right?" she asks, "Since you're going to die and all?"
Sobbing into my lap, "I guess not. What's the point? Why even waste the money curing a habit I wont live to outgrow," I choke out.
"Thought so," she sweetly replies.
{end scene}
You think I'm joking don't you?
No vet would EVER tell someone based off an inconclusive UTI urine test, without doing ANY other tests that the outcome of their dog was doom and gloom and pretty much an expensive wasteland of hell before them. Right? NO VET WOULD DO THAT?
Wrong.
She told us about owners who were already very "attached" to their dogs simply having their dogs wear diapers. Of course implying that since Stella is just a puppy, and only with us for three days, putting her down before we waste our feelings and our wallet is the best option for everyone.
Oh, and she also mentioned shortened lifespan.
Based off a UTI test.
AND convinced us not to buy the anti poop eating meds, since we would probably decide to terminate Stella's life and all.
People, this lady FUCKED WITH OUR HEADS. I sobbed all the way home with Stella in my lap. Looking down at this sweet dog that I already love after 3 stupid days thinking about how the doctor was telling us her life was basically over. If she continued to go on with existing she'd be nothing more than a medical wasteland.
I placed a sobbing call to the shelter we got her from and I couldn't love Adopt-A-Pet more than I did in that moment. Our shelter contact was THIS close to coming down to Olympia to beat the living shit out of that woman. I wanted to kiss her.
Miss Stella will be heading to the shelter's local vet for a checkup and full blood test (because that's how you ACTUALLY test for things like kidney failure or a hormonal imbalance, VET LADY) and I'm hoping that what this really is, what the vet should have said to us is that Stella was spayed a week and a half ago and her body and her bladder is getting back into routine. Also, she's only 12 weeks old. She's still growing, give her two more weeks, if it improves do nothing, if it stays the same, try something new.
Not, "Well, it's not a UTI, so she'll probably have some horrible condition and be better off dead."
I sure know how to pick um, huh?
I feel your pain. I think I would have smacked the vet in between bawling my eyes out. I really, really hope that Stella is going to be okay!
And any vet who thinks that after three days with a dog that your heart doesn't already belong to the dog has clearly never had one.
On a less serious note, I never knew that there were meds to keep dogs from eating their poop. Our vet told us that dogs do that when they are bored.
Posted by: Robin | 01/30/2011 at 08:40 AM
What the heck? You know how some people bomb abortion clinics...well...you know what I want to do now? ;)
She's off my Christmas card list.
What a biz-nitch.
(Side note: Spina Bifida is common in bulldogs. We just couldn't handle that responsibility yet. And some people DO put their dogs down because of it. Because of incontinence. Doh!)
Hope the Stella-nator will be up and running in no time. And laying off the leg bites. Although, that was freakin' hilarious.
Sorry man.
Posted by: Ashley | 01/30/2011 at 08:55 AM
That's awful! I can't even imagine! Hopefully you find a better vet. We drive 40 minutes to get to ours just because I like them so much!
Posted by: Heather | 01/30/2011 at 09:22 AM
Oh, my God. She sounds like my quack doctor who said the callus on my finger probably meant I'd need hand surgery. Hope puppy is OK.
Posted by: Wendi | 01/30/2011 at 12:24 PM
My friend (who is not a vet but might as well be) said this "let's go to Olympia and slay that vet. It'll be worth the cost of the plane tickets." :-D
Posted by: Robin | 01/30/2011 at 04:44 PM
Uhm, holy shiznit!
Whoa. I'm actually just speechless. Just speechless.
I was really hoping you were joking.
Because then I wouldn't felt like an ass when I wrote: "It's not a tumah".
But I wrote it anyway...
Posted by: Sarah | 01/30/2011 at 04:53 PM
Oh my god- I am so sorry, Ashley.
I don't know what to say- I cannot believe what an ASSHOLE that vet was. She should know better, she DOES know better. Unbelieveable.
Take care you guys- let us know how the follow up goes.
Posted by: Shauna (Fido & Wino) | 01/30/2011 at 06:21 PM
Can vets have their license to practice pulled? Or is there at least a board to report her for either gross incompetence or just general lazy bitchiness?
Because I would have her fired if possible.
Posted by: Megs | 01/30/2011 at 07:42 PM
STELLA! I love the name, by the way.
Also OMG. Is there some sort of Angie's List for vets? Because this woman needs some sort of accountability for how horrible she was to you guys.
Hopefully all of this is just as the shelter suspects and Stella will be fine in no time!
Hang in there, all of you.
Posted by: Life of a Doctor's Wife | 01/31/2011 at 08:08 AM
I can't believe this. I am so mad at this so-called Vet right now I am shaking. Seriously. W.T.F.
I agree, is there some sort of veterinary board you can complain to? Because this is despicable.
I am so glad Stella is okay and that the shelter people were so amazingly supportive. I am so glad you are all alright. But I really hope this woman's license is revoked.
Cripes, how many dogs has she "euthanised" without cause??
Posted by: Kristine | 01/31/2011 at 08:12 AM
That is horrible!!! What a freakin' b! Please tell me you are going to call her and tell her how wrong (and stupid) she is. PLEASE. Kindness kills.....so be sweet WHEN you do it ;)
Posted by: Terryn | 01/31/2011 at 08:30 AM
WTF I AM GOING TO EAT YOUR VET'S FACE.
I had a vet like this when I first moved to Merced. They tried to sell me thousands of dollars worth of cardiovascular work-ups for Marley because they swore that if I DIDN'T have her go through all of these painful tests, she was going to die a painful death.
Four years and a second opinion later, Marley is perfectly happy AND - most importantly - ALIVE.
So, in sum, I am still going to eat your vet's face.
Posted by: Tori | 01/31/2011 at 10:29 AM
The vet sounds like an idiot, and that's stating it mildly. My son was diagnosed with a brain tumor at age 9 so I do know something about how they're diagnosed. BTW, he's a 7-yr survivor and doing pretty well everything considered.
But I wanted to share this information for you or anyone whose dog does end up with a brain tumor. There's a lab in MN that is working on developing non-toxic treatments for brain tumors in humans, and dogs with brain tumors help their research.
So they'll treat dogs with brain tumors for free. You would have to transport your puppy to MN, but once there they're entered in a clinical trial:
http://braintumorlab.com/?pgp=Dogs
Hope everything turns out great with Stella.
Posted by: Kathy | 01/31/2011 at 08:41 PM
ugh. that vet sounds like s stupid bitch.
my Biscuit was about 3 months old when she was spayed and she had accidents all over the place. our livingroom looked like we'd done wall-to-wall carpeting made out of pee pads.
i'm sure Steller will be a totally healthy and happy pooch. i can't wait till you go to another vet and get this all straightened out.
ps: that video was some funny shit. i love pups. <3
Posted by: You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... | 02/01/2011 at 10:48 AM