THIS WEEK... OI

Adam has been in Alaska for work all week. Normally I would miss him being around of course, but there would be this other side of me that would revel in dinners of apples and peanut butter, reading for hours and hours and hours, watching all the bad tv I could stomach, and spending far too much time gossiping either in person or on the phone with girlfriends. 

But this week? Oi. 

With Adam in AK, the only communication we've been having is either via text, or our before bed catch-up phone call. Last night I ignored his call. Not because I didn't want to hear about HIS day, but because I knew if I talked about MY day I'd end up crying pathetic loser tears that would make him feel helpless being so far away. 

After a few, "Hello?" text messages I caved. 

And proceeded to cry and generally do all the things I'd hoped to avoid doing in our chat. 

 

 

 

When Adam and I started talking 'puppy' he was worried about the extra work puppies entail. I reassured him I was ON BOARD. Ready. I'd lived through Oly, the most needy, time consuming, mess of a puppy on the planet and come through on the other side. I am a dedicated, militant puppy trainer, and I KNOW HOW TO HOUSE TRAIN. I knew for a while things would be tiring, and a little draining, but I also knew we'd get through it in a matter of months. I also knew from experience that puppy #2 is easier than puppy #1 as your first dog helps with the general raising. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. JOKES ON ME MOTHER FUCKERS. 

On one hand Stella is lovely. Oly and her get along. She's so calm compared to Oly, she's already picked up on the general rules of house training, she crate trained with ease, loves new people and dogs, is a total dork, is fluffy and a super cuddly, and after playing with Oly in the morning, she sleeps pretty much till I'm done with work. Glorious right? 

Except for one little thing. 

Incontinence. 

It's one thing for a puppy to have an accident and pee on the carpet. Any good dog owner knows that it is YOUR fault. You didn't watch, you didn't take the dog out, they are young and resulted to peeing inside. 

But incontinence is another beast. 

I am restricting water (which OMG feels HORRIBLE), I am having her wear diapers, we are out almost hourly for pee breaks, I wake her up to pee at 9:30pm and then set alarms to wake up at 12am and 4:30am for pee breaks. We're still dealing with leaking in her crate. She isn't peeing in her crate like a bad dog, she's going to sleep and having her bladder betray her. 

The car excites her, scares her a little, so she pees. 

She can't go more than an hour without needing to pee. 

She plays with Oly while slowly leaking urine on my carpet. 

If she played rough she'll leak RIVERS in her sleep. She's actually grown very comfortable sleeping with a RAG tucked between her legs to catch leaking. HOW GROSS IS THAT?

I have done more laundry in three weeks than I've ever done in my whole life. 

I am drained. Spent. EXHAUSTED. And mostly ashamed. I feel like better people, stronger people would handle this added hurdle with more ease, finesse, strength. But me, I feel like I'm failing. 

 

 

I get puppies. I do. I get the work, and the tired. I get the sacrifice and the training. I was ready. 

But this? This is hell. 

Doctor said I need to wait "a couple weeks" to see if this clears up or gets better with age before putting her on meds. 

I'm not sure I'll make it. Which sounds dramatic I know, but fuck. I need more meds, or a labotimy, or something because WOW. 

It is also abundantly clear I am not cut out to raise children. 

Comments

[NewTeacherWife]

First of all, we might be twins. Mr. A and I did the long distance thing for about a year and a half and talked at bed time every night, but there were a couple times I ignored him bc of the same reason. (Also one time bc I was reallllllly mad, but that's not important.) Also, I think you can give yourself a pat on the shoulder. It seems like you are being a great puppy mom and working so hard to help her. Unfortunately, a lot of other people would have given up by now and sent her back, which is terrible. Hopefully as she gets older, her bladder will grow too and this won't be a problem anymore. You are doing a wonderful job. Grab yourself a glass of wine and laugh at the fact that your puppy is in a diaper. :)

[Gail]

Remember...kids wear diapers.

[Sarah]

The first dog we ever had was bitten by his mother shortly after birth. Humans stepped in and saved him.
His growth plate on one side of his snout was broken, a sinus was punctured and some drain was bamaged.

His snout grew "curvedly". As in, it was a J shaped snout by the time he was fully grown. He couldn't smell, and was retarded so he pretty much sucked at "doggie" things.

We loved him anyway. Most loving, friendly, sweet dog that was also the size of a house. He ended up having to go on medication to keep him from getting to "friendly".
He had many other care responsibilities that took time to adjust to - but we did.

Stella will give you much joy as she grows. Puppies come with problems in one form or another. The new parent stage is exhausting and overwhelming. Doesn't matter if your baby is a human baby or a fur baby.

Hang in there, it'll get better. And if not - there's wine. :)

[Ashley]

Poor girl. I commend you for the awesome dealing with an incontinent dog. There are many a people who will put a dog down because it's "broken." Assholes.

[Marti]

Poor Stella,Her leaky bladder just seems natural to her, so she is probably confused. and all she wants to do is please you. I sure hope she just get better with age.

[Tori]

You're doing an amazing job with Stella. Don't give up! We've also done a mountain of laundry with Leela, and most of that was legitimately her fault ;)

[Kelly L]

Yay for you! The universe was probably like, "this chick is way too good at this... I think she needs a challenge!" and BAM. Leaky pee.

Although I don't know if the universe would be a singular entity or maybe it's a "we"... I'm not sure how the universe would refer to itself.

That burning smell you are smelling is a tiny portion of my brain.