As I mentioned on Twitter, I'm anxiously awaiting the day when instagram releases the "DMV filter." A filter that when applied to an image turns the subject into a child molester, homeless person, crack head or homicidal maniac. All with the click of a button!
Ok, I will admit my new AK drivers licence picture isn't all THAT bad. I do look like I've got some naughty secret I'm hiding, like maybe I'm a middle school teacher who recently discovered I'm pregnant with my 11 year old student's baby, but definitely not the worst I've got. Nothing can compare to my CA license. NOTHING. Man I wish I still had it…
I think Adam goes down on record as taking the worst DMV picture. His WA license picture had him suddenly gain 40 pounds and appear to look so sinister you'd never want to encounter him in a dark alley. I'm not entirely sure how he managed to pull that one off. Sometimes I would ask to see it just to brighten my day it was that creepy.
So, after two attempts (YES I FAILED MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT THE WRITTEN TEST PLEASE STOP LAUGHING AT ME ADAM) I am now an Alaskan. Wow.
It's always weird to pass these milestones. The day I turned in my CA drivers license and became a Washingtonian, and now after 8 years of identifying 100% with being a Washingtonian suddenly I'm an Alaskan.
I live in Alaska.
We have Alaskan drivers licenses, Alaskan plates on our car, pay utilities in Alaska, and when I was in Seattle friends introduced me to new people as their friend Ashley from Alaska and I had to fight the urge to correct them and remind everyone that I lived in WA, before remembering that I did in fact live in Alaska. Which made my brain tired and I'd have to sit down for a second.
But I figure, now that I'm an Alaskan this means that on Saturday when we leave for our one night backpacking trip, when we see a bear (Yes, I said when because there's no chance we won't see a bear at least once) the bear will see that I am not a tasty tourist any longer but actually a fellow Alaskan and will leave my tender flesh alone in search for someone here visiting from the Midwest.
I hear they taste better.
If I don't post something on Twitter by Sunday night it means I was eaten and you should check the Anchorage newspaper for details on how it all went down. Maybe they'll include a really graphic picture of my mangled corpse.