“They”say the first step is admitting you have a problem.
So here we go.
Adam and I have a problem. A problem with errands. Yes, you heard me. Adam and I have a problem when it comes to running errands. Most specifically, on the weekends.
You see, when we found ourselves relocated from Seattle to Olympia, broke as hell, and new home owners, we settled into our broke existence by staying home and fiddling with our house. See also, watching a shit ton of tv. We had no money, so there was really no sense in leaving the house. Leaving meant spending money, so we just stayed home, mowed the lawn, rakes leaves, powerwashed the sidewalks, you name it, we did it if it meant we didn’t have to leave the house. When we were done with chores, we just watched tv. Hell, we already paid the cable bill, might as well put it to use.
Meet our new friend, the DVR.
Now that we live in Alaska and we’re renting there’s a lot less upkeep and remodeling to do, so we’ve realized we like to fill our free weekends with errands.
It seems so innocent.
Hey, I need to return these shoes at Nordstroms, and we need dog food. Let’s go run some errands real quick.
That’s how it gets you.
You THINK you’re just returning shoes and getting dog food. But before you know it you’re at Nordstrom, and while he’s looking at shoes you remember you need a new shirt for that thingamagig you’re going to, and then oh, my glasses are so old! I think I need new ones. And then you both realize it’s lunch, should we go get some? Maybe also a martini is needed! Yes martini’s for everyone! Wow martini’s are expensive! Whoops… plus that shit I bought, and OH don’t we still need dog food? WAIT! Let’s go in the Gap real quick I just want to see those pants I saw online, or just put them in this bag and take them home. Hey pet store! Dog food… plus, OMG DO YOU SEE THIS CUTE TOY! OLY NEEDS IT LETS GET IT! Oh I forgot I also need new filters for the fish tank and STOP this jacket is too cute, can Oly have it? Crap I forgot, since we’re here at the pet store, and Target is next door, let’s go in. I need shampoo. See also, a necklace, nail polish, a card for my friend, this great new book, PLACE MATS! Baby outfit for the friend, did you know this was out on DVD? Fuck that was just $150 for what exactly? OH COFFEE! Let’s get some.
It doesn’t stop.
By the time we get home of course we returned those shoes, and also got that dog food, but we also managed to get SO MANY MORE ERRANDS completed. But it was ok you guys because they were ERRANDS. Which mean they were important. WE NEED THESE THINGS YOU KNOW. That’s what errands are. Things you need to buy to keep living.
So we’ve stopped the nonsense. We’ve realized we have a problem, and it’s errands. During the week we act like responsible humans with control. And then weekends come and errands speak to us, they call us out of the house to the places where things are sold, and these once very very poor people can’t help ourselves and before we know it we’ve done it again. We got sucked in. It’s crack. Errand crack. And we’re going cold turkey.
Please don’t ask me to accompany you on a quick errand just yet. I’m still too fragile.