I know a hot second ago I was all, I read a book and it changed my life and now I'm finding friends! and yeah, that did happen, and I did, kinda, and sometimes I do feel like third move is a charm, and I'm getting better at this, but then, I also don't. And I also hate starting over. And, man this is lame. Basically, my life is one confusing run-on sentence.
When I arrived in Seattle last weekend I was greeted by all the people in this wild world that matter. From childhood friends, to high school, college, post-college, the Olympia days and Alaska days, all the parts of my life were represented. Represented by amazing, hilarious, wonderful women. The kind of women that I can call up, talk with, hang out with and who I always love to be around. Seeing each of them in one place reminded me why I call each one of them my friend, why being their friend is such a great thing, and how much I wish I got to see them all the time.
Because, that was the kicker.
As amazing and wonderful and laughter filled my bachelorette party weekend was, it also ended. And then I boarded my flight alone, and returned to Chicago. The land of no friends.
Adam is in Vegas this weekend for his bachelor party, living it up and having a bromance, and I'm just, here. There's no one to call up, no one to hang out with, grab a drink with, share a moment with. Just me. And the dogs. In this city we don't know.
Because of the wedding and the move I don't have a garden planted for the first time in four summers to mill around in, I don't have any flowers planted, nor can I afford to get any because of said move and wedding. I'll take the dogs to the local dog park this weekend, walk them in the forest preserve, watch tv, and run my errands. Alone.
I'm doing the right things, Adam and I are accepting invitations when they arise, putting ourselves out there, making efforts, but life and adulthood, traffic and the wedding get in the way and it's all just such horrible timing.
In two years I'll look back on this post and I'll smile. Life will be tremendously different, and these early months of confusion and loneliness will be a thing of the past. I know this to be a fact, having done "the big move" twice already, but turns out, this first part always sucks.
No matter how many times you do it.