LONGING
GETTING NERVOUS

WHAT IS IT ABOUT FALL & THE NEED TO CHANGE?

Last week I found out I was having knee surgery, scheduled said knee surgery (eeek) and made a big life altering decision. ALL IN ONE WEEK. Oh, and Adam was out of town during most all of this.

Let me back up.


There are about five posts I wrote and never published on this site, and they all say about the same thing: Why do I feel this urge for something new? Is it because it’s time for a change, or is this simply fall’s way of yet again reminding me of that school yard need for starting something new?  

We moved to Chicago in May, and until our wedding in July all thoughts went to finishing our wedding planning. Once it was over though the reality of living in Chicago began to sink in. When we moved to Olympia, and next to Alaska, in each location we knew it wasn’t a forever home. These were simple rest stops, places we would live until we moved to our next location. Each bringing us closer to the moment when we could finally settle down and be done living a semi transient lifestyle.

And all of a sudden one day it hit me. We’re done. There’s no more moving. We’re in Chicago, the place we were always working towards. There’s no more good-byes and driving across the country towards the next adventure. We can settle.

As I mulled over this idea I had to finally ask myself what in the world I wanted. Now that I wasn't just trying to get through the next adventure, what did I want? For my career, for my life, for our lives?

Then it hit me. The last three years working from home for a company based out of Seattle has been amazing. It has been the most rewarding job I could have ever asked for, and I’ve learned more about online marketing and eCommerce than I ever could have imagined. As well, the fact I was able to take it with me from Olympia to Alaska, then Alaska to Chicago was something that helped me sleep at night when I wondered where in the world Adam’s job would take us next. At least I'll still have my job, I'd think.

But as the reality of Chicago as “home” begun to sink in, I started to finally ask myself what I needed. What was next?

I realized that after three years of working from home full time, I need to see people. I need to put down roots in Chicago. Meet people and make connections with people who also live here. I need to take a big leap forward in my career and make roots of my own. Hell, I need to wear pants again! I know everyone thinks it is so great I get to wear yoga pants all day long, but you know what? I am over it. I want to wear clothes again. I want to put together outfits and buy new shoes and dresses and pay attention to fashion trends and use purses and not just do this to go to the grocery store.

So last week I gave notice to a company I love. I told them I’d be moving on and it sucked, and I cried, and I drank a lot of wine and watched movies on Netflix that made me cry more and Adam was gone and that sucked but I survived. I accepted a new job that will be a challenge and has room to grow and where I’ll go to an office and talk with people face-to-face. I’ll also get to do this while wearing pants. 

Last week was horrible and awesome all at the same time, but now I’m ready.

Here we go. 

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