The Accidental Olympian

SO, THIS IS IT?

Back in June I traveled to Eugene, OR to watch my baby sister graduate from the University of Oregon. In between photo opts, filming, congratulatory speeches and stuffing my face I told Emmaly that this is where the hard part comes. I told her not to worry, but that the first 6 months to a year after graduating from college was going to feel like an utter mess. Hold on tight, you’ll get through this.

My friends and I, looking back at that 6 months to a year directly after graduation realized that this one specific time period can be the most out of control period of any young person’s life. After spending basically all your life in school, suddenly you’re just, not. You were expected to work so hard to complete this step, graduate from college, and now you’re supposed to be stepping into a CAREER, being SUCCESSFUL, and oh so HAPPY.

But then you graduate, and once the summer fun wears off you see some of your friends return to school. You watch friends you’ve come to depend on run off to grad school, Europe, move home, travel the world, and you’re just, there.

You quickly realize working full time isn’t all roses and magic like you’d expected. That sure, more money is nice, but now that CAREER you were working for is it. This is your life. Welcome to your cube.

All of a sudden you look around and wonder if THIS is really what you wanted. Bills, rent, 9-5, career.

Is there more?

My friends and I each dealt with this in different ways. Some took off to far away lands, others enrolled in grad school, some put their nose to the ground and worked, some of us drank too much, cried too much, scratched our heads too much. I remember one night, a few too many glasses of wine deep full body sobbing to Adam that I didn’t know who I was anymore.

I looked out my apartment window and pointed to the direction of the University of Washington and sobbed, “That used to be my home! That was my identity! That is what I worked for, what I was proud of, that DEFINED ME. Now who am I?”

He rolled his eyes at me, because HI, drama much? But it was the core of my bewilderment.

After being a student for so long, how could I just be Ashley?

The worst part is the only advice I have for my sister now that she's graduated and the oh-shit moment has hit her is to hold on. There’s no magical cure. What helps one person find their way will not work for another. Traveling the world might sooth the soul of one graduate, but might only further confuse another.

Unlike the rest of their lives where the “next step” was perfectly mapped and planned, this part has zero direction. There’s no right way or wrong way.

And telling her that when she's crying into the phone to me, telling me she doesn't understand why everything feels so crappy and all I can say is, "Don't worry! It gets better!" makes me feel like a world class asshole. 

Yet, it really is the only advice I have. 

So I ask you, what was your post schooling freak out like? Raise your hand if you too had a full scale quarter life crisis that involved consuming far too much wine and crying for no reason. 

Orrrrrr. Maybe that was just me. 

 

 

THINGS A COLLEGE GRAD *ACTUALLY* WANTS AS A GRADUATION GIFT

My little sister is graduating from the University of Oregon on June 13^th. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! OMG the pride you guys!

Because of this amazing occasion many members of my family are flying in from all corners of the world (no joke, one is coming from the island of Santorini!) to celebrate. As is customary most of us are picking out special outfits and thinking of the perfect graduation gift.

Both items have given me pause. What to wear to two outdoor ceremonies and one fancy dinner? And more importantly, what to get the grad?

In my quest to get the perfect “YEAH you graduated college and never found yourself locked up for public intoxication!” gift I have searched online in many of places, and shamefully actually found myself reading those, “What to get grads” articles written by people who obviously have never graduated from college themselves.

After reading one too many gift guides it dawned on me. I know what grads really want but are ashamed to ask for. So here we go.

Things College Grads *Actually* Want As Graduation Gifts

1. MONEY. Don’t beat around the bush, this is what they all want. They are poor, most likely in school loan dept and probably personal credit card debt and have held down 1-12 part time jobs while also going to school. They’re fucking poor. Give them cash. Or gift cards. No gift cards aren’t tacky, money towards gas is always appreciated. Especially when gas is $17 a gallon.
    
2. RENT. Bypass them depositing it into their accounts and spending it backpacking through Europe, contact their landlord directly and offer to pay their rent. One month, two months, a year, whatever you got they’ll take.
    
3. A NEW CAR. Odds are they are still driving the car they were given or purchased themselves in High School. It is most likely broken down and pathetic. I’m not saying get them a $30,000 car, but even a used car that’s in good condition is going to feel like an upgrade of epic proportions from what they’re probably driving. Instead of 12 small gifts, why don't you get your whole family together to pool resources? One awesome sauce gift is going to feel much more amazing than 12 new things for their apartment. 
    
4. A JOB. Preferably making a decent salary so that for the first time in their adult lives they can breathe. It doesn’t even have to be in the field they studied in! If you know someone, who knows someone, who can get them a job with BENEFITS, and an actual SALARY they’re going to want it. Especially in this economy. Ok, if you can’t GIVE them a job, at least help them get an interview. Who you know is a big deal, and if you know someone, help a sister out!
    
5. A TRIP SOMEWHERE TO RELIEVE A LITTLE STRESS BEFORE STARTING THE HELL THAT IS LOOKING FOR A JOB. Do you live somewhere amazing? Invite the grad to come hang out. Because they need a break from you know, spending the last few decades in school. Plus, they know they have job hunting to look forward to, and I’m sure your pool house is looking like a great place to forget about the future for a week or two.

 

 

I won’t even continue. This is all they want.

They do not want your special thoughtful gifts.

Ok, I mean I’m sure they like them when they open them, but it wasn’t what they were hoping for. Right now in this economy, if you’re graduating from college you’re TERRIFIED. The future is a bleak bleak place and you most likely struggled to find even part time work while you were going to school.

So give a grad a break. You don’t have to be a baller, but if you can alleviate some of their stress, they’re going to thank you.

So go forth and enrich the lives of a terrified college graduate.

And if you MUST give them something thoughtful, a set of steak knives, a bracelet with their name engraved in it, AT LEAST also throw in a gift card for groceries or gas. Or pay their electric bill. Or throw in the business card of your friend at such and such company who you already forwarded their resume to. That bracelet is going to feel a lot more special next to that potential interview. 

Don’t look at me like that, the truth hurts. 

 

LIFE LIST: ATTEND A UW FOOTBALL GAME AS AN ALUMNI *UPDATED*

When I was a wee little undergrad at the University of Washington I made friends with a gaggle of rowdy young men who enjoyed, no, LOVED college football. They gladly took me with them to games, taught me a thing or two, and I instantly fell in love.

The only minor issue with my new found love of University of Washington football is that from the time I started college in 2003, right up to present day, our team has SUCKED.

Minor detail.

Anyone who loves college football though will tell you that because that's your school out on that field you feel a kindred spirit with those boys. That team of over muscled freaks represent everything you love about your university, has all your pride wrapped up in their success, and you'll gladly cheer them on because at the end of the day they embody everything that is wonderful about your alma mater. So no matter how bad they make you look year after year, you put on your school colors in the fall, cross your fingers REALLY HARD, and hope they can pull off a miracle.

And if you're a Husky fan, lately you leave the game with your head down.

 

 

Even with the crap tastic rankings, threat of rain, and the promise of a loss, I wanted to gather my friends up as an alumni and head back to the school we called home for four or so years to scream and yell, shake our fists and bleed purple once again. 

So we did.

And it was everything I remembered it to be.

Maybe even a little more.

Checking the scores of the Utah game under his poncho WHILE at the UW game. That's how bad we were getting beat. Sad Face.

The Huskies may always suck. But I'll always be right there, cheering them on, wearing my purple and gold, wondering if this will be the year that we turn it around and return to the sort of team that comes home with a Rose Bowl win.

 

 

You never know.

Anything can happen in college football.

That's what keeps us coming back year after year.

Well, that and the tailgating.

OK, maybe for the Huskies it has lately been a lot more about the joy of tailgating, and a little less about the joy of the game. 

I can't speak for all fans.

Let's just say I have my suspicions.

 

*UPDATED* Guys, Robin from Thoughts Derailed informed me that I was RIGHT! Turns out CNN ranks the University of Washington as the #4 absolute BEST place to tailgate in the country. See. How could you guys ever doubt me? I know things.

ALL GROWED* UP

On Friday I left work early, got in my car and drove and drove and drove until I arrived in the college town of Eugene, OR.

I had a date you see.

With my baby sister, University of Washington football (oh why oh why do you boys continue to embarrass us?), my cousin, and a night on the town pretending I was in college yet again.

My little sister has visited me in Olympia many a time. See, I have a guest room, and I'm the oldest, and well, I just never really wanted to sleep on my sister's floor when she was living with 6 or so strangers in a decrepit house.

But now, now she's a senior in college, all growed up and adult like, so I figured I owed her a visit.

 

 

I wasn't sure what to expect.

Backstreet Boys posters?

Keg cups everywhere?

Mismatched furniture?

Overflowing trashcans and an empty fridge?

Instead I was greeted with a home. A lovely, clean, ADULT home that my baby sister manages, cares for and maintains.

It matched!

It was clean!

Hell, it was downright ADORABLE!

 

I know it's wrong to have had so little faith. To have assumed she was still 18. To be unable to wrap my mind around the reality that this person in my life is very much so an adult in every sense of the word.

On Friday night I sat at the table with wine in hand while she made me a most delicious meal. We got ready together, and instead of telling her how to dress I borrowed a dress of hers. Went out in Eugene and I threw up my hands and told her to show me her city. For a change I followed her lead. There we were, being ridiculous, laughing, making a general ass of ourselves. Because we finally could together.

When my alarm went off Saturday morning bright and early for our breakfast date with our cousin, I scampered upstairs to her room and crawled into bed next to her. We laughed and made fun of one another for our ridiculous mishaps out on the town, and for a change we didn't need to talk about some blow up or fight from the night before. There were no, "I'm sorry's," to dole out, no sheepish promises to be nicer to one another next time.

Breakfast with our cousin. Someone I held right after she was born. A girl I've watched turn into a woman. A college student. A table full of laughter as we remembered past vacations, shared stories from long ago and gossiped about family members.

As the three of us finished a perfect day of lounging by getting ice cream in my cousin's dorm cafeteria late Saturday night I was stunned at how we've all grown. Myself the old lady, waxing nostalgic about the glory days of college long long ago. My sister itching to be free of the trials of midterms, finals, and simply trying to finish this last push of college and make it to the freedom that awaits mere months away. And my cousin, just starting her journey, only 6 weeks in still trying new things, meeting new people, four years stretching out before her.

 

 

In one single weekend I remembered the past, embraced the present, and found myself terribly excited about the future.




What a most perfect vacation.

 

 

 

*please know that I am very aware that 'growed up' isn't proper English. I mean, I am a self professed horrible speller, but I do know that you don't use 'growed up' in a sentence. Just thought I'd clear that one up in case you thought I'd finally gone too far...

 

OH THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

Shauna of Fido & Wino was inspired by Donaree.com who was inspired by yes and yes (confused yet?) to write a post breaking down all the various places they've lived throughout their lives.

So, following in the tradition of being inspired by others, I too want to break down the many homes of Miss Ashley. Not sure if you give a rats ass, but I liked making this list. It made me think of fun times, and memories, and smiles, and lately, I need all the happy fun time smiles I can get.

Give a girl a break ok?



(0-4) SANTA BARBARA, CA - Born in SB and brought home to our little blue house. I don't remember much about actually living here, except that my sister Emmaly and I met here and I instantly resented the screaming thing that took away all the attention. I do remember that you had to walk through the master bedroom to get to the backyard, and once during a serious drought Emmaly and I went 'swimming' on the back porch in a 5 gallon bucket of water. Together. It's the most Grapes of Wrath picture I've ever seen of my sister and I. Seeing as all the good baby pictures live with my parents in California, you'll have to do with a 4 or so year old me, hanging out in front of our house. Damn I have great hair.





(4-5) BUELLTON, CA -- Before I started kindergarten we moved 45 minutes north of SB to the Santa Ynez Valley. Our first house was on a golf course, which seems nice, until my mom had a soda hit out of her hands by a rogue golf ball, and my dad took a ball to the back. It's hard to enjoy a summer night when you're worried about being killed by a crazy golf ball.


(5-6) BUELLTON, CA -- My parents with their young children liked the little Rancho De Maria development with its quaint golf course and park, but weren't a fan of all the killer golf balls so we moved down the street. We lived across the street from the park and the neighborhood was teaming with kids my age. We roamed like wild animals though the neighborhood, and the friends I made at 6 years old stayed with me through a big portion of middle school, junior high, and even high school. One I still consider a dear friend to this day.


(6-18) BUELLTON, CA -- Sick of being renters, we moved into the house my parents still reside in. Kindergarten through graduation of High School I slept in the little 10x10ft window on the right. First kisses, first boyfriends, learning to drive, sneaking out, getting in trouble for drinking, first breakups, proms, graduations, all took place in that house.



(Freshman Year) UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON DORMS -- A room, 12 feet by 12 tiny little feet I shared with a perfect stranger for an entire school year. The dorms were the weirdest, and most amazing time for me in college. Mercer 4 East for life.



(Sophomore Year) SORORITY THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED BECAUSE I VAGUELY REMEMBER WHEN I WALKED OUT SOMETHING ABOUT NEVER BEING ABLE TO SAY WHAT HOUSE I HAD JOINED BECAUSE I WAS A DESERTER OR SOMETHING. THERE MIGHT HAVE ALSO EVEN BEEN IDOL THREATS OF CROWS PLUCKING OUT MY EYES OR SOMETHING RIDICULOUS IF I TOLD. MAYBE IT WAS JUST 7 YEARS BAD LUCK? LEAVE ME ALONE, I WAS DRUNK A LOT THAT YEAR IT IS ALL A LITTLE FUZZY-- Want to try something weird? Sleep in a room that is 24 hour dark, 24 hour quiet, filled with bunk beds for 32 girls. Keep all your clothes in a closet in the room of two upperclassmen who don't really like you because you're coming into their room at 6am to get dressed and hello, they met you like 5 minutes ago.  Also, live in a house with 90 other women for a year. Extra points if you get drunk at a frat house, make friends with campus police, and bring them back to your sorority for hot cocoa. Someone take a picture of the faces of the upperclassmen because that shit is priceless and you probably wont remember it in the morning. WOW. Glad I did it though. The stories I can tell!

(Summer between Sophomore & Junior Year)  SEATTLE, WA -- You thought living in a sorority sounds weird? Try living in a frat for a summer. Tequila Tuesdays, foam parties, green shag carpet with dark blue walls, Kamikaze matrices, group showers, Christmas in July parties, beer pong, movie night, 80's night, cocktail parties, cooking bacon wrapped chicken on a George Foreman grill on the floor of our room, storing all our dishes in the top drawer of our dresser, beds suspended from the ceiling with chain link, finding strangers in your bed when you get home from work, being ridiculous every single day, also known as the BEST SUMMER OF MY ENTIRE LIFE.


 

 

(Junior Year) SEATTLE, WA 22nd St -- My first apartment. Small, dirty, and a 4th floor walk up. My roomie LP and I were the only ones to make it from signing the lease till moving out. Roommates came and went every couple months, and once I came home to my roommates shooting fire crackers off the balcony, they'd put my food and my flowers in a blender and were throwing the mash on the ceiling. Oh, college.



(Senior Year) SEATTLE, WA -- The basement apartment. Located in the heart of the greek system, and next door to a frat with a pool. It was not uncommon for me to wake up to the sound of someone peeing on my basement level window. But, I loved that little mold cave because it was big, and quiet, and no one put my flowers in the blender while I was at work. But my roomie and I did rewatch all the episodes of The Gilmore Girls, and frequently had sandwiches delivered to our apartment at 3am, so we had obviously matured to a higher level of functioning.
 

(Super Senior Year - February 2009) SEATTLE, WA MADISON PARK -- The most amazing apartment in the history of the world. On Lake Washington. Four of my closest friends living in the same complex. A pool. BBQ pits. Black and white tile kitchen floors and crown moulding on the ceiling. Walking to Madison Beach Park on a summer day to swim in the lake, stop in at the Red Apple if you got hungry. Wine on the patio. Finally feeling like an adult.



(February 2009 - March 2009) SEATTLE, WA UPPER MADISON PARK -- Squatting with all my things in boxes in the middle of Adam's living room before we moved to Olympia. For the first month we lived together we literally stepped over junk to move through the one bedroom apartment. Simply biding our time and waiting to see where we'd head next. The fact we're still together after that mess is amazing.



(March 2009 - TODAY!) OLYMPIA, WA -- I was an unemployed hack, Adam was a newly promoted superstar, and before we knew it we lived together, in a new city, and were crazy home owners. The most impulsive decision I've ever made, and yeah, sometimes I wondered in the beginning when we were arguing about picture frames if we made a HUGE mistake. But now almost two years later it's all rainbows and smiles at the Olympia home. Well, smiles and rainbows when I'm not laying in bed sobbing because summer is over and the gloomies are threatening to eat me alive. But you get the picture!





FUN STUFF!

Now please break your life down. I want to know which of my blog buddies has moved around the most. I think Shauna is in the lead. Canada, Japan, Amsterdam!