The Accidental Olympian

KIDS, I THINK I WON SOMETHING

So first I was tagged by Kelly of The Startup Wife with this little thingamajig,

and honestly the first thing that crossed my mind when I saw I was mentioned was, "What the hell is that man wearing over his unitard?" No seriously. What is that? Plus, the other dude, WHAT IS WITH THE EYE MAKEUP? After I got over the outfits I was also sort of tickled because ME! A blogger friendship-bracelet badge thing! Neat.   

But, honestly I was too lazy to follow through.

And then I just saw that Junket of Junket Juice who is lovely and I want to someday get very silly drunk with gave me this whatsadozit,

and I was like FINE I WILL PLAY ALONG BECAUSE ONE OF YOU THINKS I HAVE KARATE SKILLS, AND THE OTHER MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON ME. 

Here's how this works. I am 'supposed' to tell you 7 random things about me, but hello, my blog is like 7 million random things about me. Instead I will move on to section #2 of this chain gang letter and just tell you about 5 bloggers I read and love and totally might have a blog crush on. Most of these people don't read my work and are like 700 times more internet cool than little o'l me and therefore would never even think to participate, but that's ok with me because these things kinda give me stress guilt and then I sweat too much from all the pressure. I just want you to look at their sites and tell them how pretty you think they are.

• Jamie of A Life in Translation (Her blog tag line is basically why I hit 'subscribe'.)

• Miss Britt of well, Miss Britt (the writing, oh the writing.)

• Holly of Nothing but Bonfires (She has a British accent, which DUH I know you can't actually 'hear' in her writing, but it makes my blog crush on her all the more creepy and therefore I needed to over share that with you. OH, but she's also a tremendous writer. Does that make up for the fact that I admitted I have a crush on her? No? DAMN.)

• Shauna Glenn of ShaunaGlenn.com (HI-LARIOUS. Nuf Said.) 

• Ree of Pioneer Woman (Some of the best recipes, pictures, and honestly the worlds BEST online blog love story of all time. I know I am way late on the Ree=Amazing bandwagon, but whatevs.)

• Mona of Kirida.com (I know this is blog #6 and therefore not sticking to my 5 blogger thing I said before, but I don't follow rules well. And Mona's too cool for blog tagging rules anyway so she'll be proud I broke the rules in her honor.)

• Oh, and while I'm breaking the rules, how about Jen of One Wandering (waves manically), "Hi blog friend!" She's cool too, so go meander through her website. She takes beautiful pictures and writes lovely pieces, and once even said she'd bake me cookies and mail them to me. Which reminds me, JEN WHERE ARE THE COOKIES?

• Someone stop me this is too much fun. My LAST (I promise) blog love I need to share with you is Rebecca of Girls Gone Child. (There is something about the way she writes that has me tearing up 9 times out of 10 while reading her work. Like this post. OMG that post. And, yesterday she jumped over to my blog and left a comment. And then I died. TWICE.)

So there you have it. These people are all insanely cooler than I am and will probably never see that I called them out as rockstars, but I don't care. They're still totally stalk worthy. I suggest you do the same. 

WISHING FOR GROWING PAINS

A while back Adam's good friend came to visit and Oly spent the entire time following him around and making sure that her nose made contact with his body with each new movement he made. And I'm not talking like once or twice she'd walk over and check in with our guest. I'm talking full on constant molestation if he dared move from couch to kitchen. Oly was under the impression that there was a game going on called, 'Touch the Visitor', except our poor visitor was never asked if he'd like to play this wonderful and magical game.

What can I say? We don't play fair at this house.

Later on in the weekend, after much nose molesting, and a few desperate cries of, "OMG DOG GIVE IT A REST!" I happened to glance over and catch Oly peacefully asleep on our guest's lap. Adam's friend turned to me ever so slowly and gave me this look of, "NOW I get it. You put up with all the crap because of times like this..."

And he's right. I think of sleeping Oly, tired Oly, and exhausted Oly as a foreshadowing into life with Oly The Adult Dog. Those peaceful times where she's cuddling next to you completely exhausted, perfect for snuggling and loving make all those previous moments where her head is spinning around her body Exorcist style just a tad more bearable. 

Ashley, the Accidental Olympian

ONE OF THEM

Standing against the wall she turned to me and asked, "Can't we try this in slow motion? I mean, does anyone even know what the hell is going on right now?"

I chuckled, "I've been told this is actually harder in slow motion."

"I don't believe you for a second," she rebuffed.

I tried in this free moment to explain how the team operated. Trying to explain the whole 'throw you in with the wolves' approach I too had been subjected to as a newbie. I looked back into the three months I had been coming to practice and I threw a handful of tips at her I wish I had known. Her eyes darted from my face to the gaggle of women slamming into one another on the track before us.

I remembered what it felt like to feel as if you have absolutely no idea if standing on that spot was the greatest idea you ever had, or the worst.

Practice ended and as I packed up my gear there she was again. She introduced herself and then surprised me by thanking me. "Not everyone is willing to help out the girl falling all over herself in the corner. It means a lot," she said. I professed it was no big deal, and told her that I too had felt as she did when I started. I admitted to her that watching the advanced skaters dance in the rink had made, and even still makes my inabilities feel as if they are larger than myself. I explained, "I only started in November, and I am proof that these girls can teach you to skate. Somehow, someway." 
 
As I walked through the doors on my way to my car I called behind me, "BYE! See you all tomorrow night!" and calls of, "BYE!" "SEE YOU!" and "LATER!" reverberated behind me. For the first time I realized I may have passed that milestone I have been so eager to reach. Quite possibly becoming overnight someone that a new player feels confident enough to ask a question, if only to ask if it gets less scary down the road. Against all odds I might have become someone worth reaching out to in the middle of all the chaos and confusion.

The entire conversation, as short as it was reminded me how recently I too was that girl only one or two practices in. I still remember all too well what it feels like to stand in a room that was moving dangerously fast hoping I would either get it, or get the sense to stay home. 

Who knew I'd have the confidence to proclaim, "I promise you it gets better. Even better, I promise you'll get better."


Plus, she has to keep coming, or else she'll miss out on all the fun socks.

People, I live for derby socks.

Ashley, the Accidental Olympian

A LAND WHERE THE FLOWERS BLOOM IN JANUARY

Adam and I spent the weekend in southern California, which you already knew. I could continue to wax on and on and on about how cool it is to play golf in January, talk about the amazing food, boast about the beauty of winter outdoor wine tastings, or make you laugh by telling you the story of how the forecast called for consecutive days of rain and the words, "THE RAIN IS COMING" actually made front page news (still can't stop laughing actually), but no. I'd rather just show you some pictures.

It took moving away to a place with real live seasons to finally realize how amazing it is to see flowers blooming and thriving in the middle of January. I had to leave the land of the eternal sun to finally appreciate the absolute magic that is this corner of the world.

And now, some of my favorites.

The Wizard, giving you his best Wizard grin.

I had to end with another shot of this guy. I tried to take him home in my luggage, but turns out that chubby sausage body and those stubby legs just wouldn't fit. Hey Baxter, look out because next time I'm bringing a bigger bag. 

Want to see more of my trip? Like all 100 or so mindless pictures? Then click through the whole shebang over at Webshots.

Ashley
the Accidental Olympian
http://www.accidentalolympian.com

A CALIFORNIAN ADVENTURE

Our vacation is short but sweet, but so far our trip has been riddled with both wonderful and hilariously weird moments. All things I fully expected going on a trip to visit MY family. 

I played my first ever full 18 holes of golf on Friday. I would call it a successful game. I mean, I only almost hit Adam in the head with a golf ball at close range ONCE. And he was smart enough to dodge it so we didn't even have to go to the emergency room or anything. GREAT success. Plus, I saw the worlds largest eucalyptus tree. No joke, this thing is probably the oldest thing in California and probably knew a few dinosaurs by name. 

We were also lucky enough to spend time with our legendary Catch Phrase partners once again. I don't know what it is about this game, but if you mix in the right amount of personality and booze you get a night riddled with one liners and inside jokes that you can take with you for the next decade. This round we walked away with a lovely nickname for Adam. He will forever be known as 'Queso' in the company of my family. Nothing could make me more pleased. 

OH, I also realized my father is a master chef. For dinner last night he whipped up a lovely salad. We were told it was going to be, "A party in our mouth." Hell, I LOVE parties so bring it on Pops. Then we watched in horror as he dumped the following contents into a bowl, 

Lettuce
Onion Ring Chip Things -- They looked like the nicer version of Funyuns 
Cranberries
Baby Shrimp
Carrots
Cheese
Artichoke Hearts
and the one that brought down the house, 
GODIVA DARK CHOCOLATE

Yep, you read that right. My father made us a salad that contained shrimp and chocolate ALL IN THE SAME BOWL. Needless to say most everyone tried it (it was his birthday after all) and no one got sick. Hell let's go ahead and count that one as another HUGE success. 

OH, total milestone, today I got to pee on a floating port-a-potty in the middle of a lake. Added bonus, it was named the S.S. Relief. CLASSIC. Knock that one off my bucket list. 

 

We only have a handful of moments left here in CA spending time with family and friends so close they could very well just be family, all snuggling together in the home I grew up in. I can't help thinking in between all the belly laughing and full face smiling that it feels so fucking good to be home.
 

 

 Ashley, the Accidental Olympian

FIFTEEN

I am 15 again.

I am terrified of lunch break once again because it means that I have to spend another meal hiding from people, ducking into the social pariah lunch zone known as the locker room because it’s the only place my friends and I feel we might not be sneered at, or bitched at, or God forbid LOOKED AT by a more popular specimen of the high school race.

I say I'm 15 again because in all honesty, derby is the most confusing liberating awesome mind fuck of an experience I've been through in quite a while, and the emotions that have been bubbling to the surface lately feel so reminiscent of those high school years.

*****

I still leave for practice filled with nerves. Less and less nerves as the time has gone on, but nerves none the less.

I walk into the room and it’s loud, and has this very specific smell of 'rink' that I know will stick to my clothes long after I've left, and I can't help but think to myself, I like that about the rink, that I can take it home with me. There are people sitting together, apart, talking, silent, confused, confident.

I walk in, eyes scanning the group quickly, and then I take my seat. Focus on my skates, pads, helmet, don't focus on them.

Speak when spoken too.

Don’t stand out.

It's in the silence, stillness, calm where I hear it the loudest. I long to skate till my feet bleed, until my lungs feel as if filled with fire, my muscles screaming endlessly for a break if only to keep the childish voice in my head from speaking.

Don't stand out.

Each time I catch a conversation where someone whispers something evil, spiteful or derogative about another player, usually a less experienced player like myself, I feel myself grow smaller.

Don’t stand out.

But I do. I know I do. Just as we did at 15. Even in our hiding spot in the locker room we weren’t concealed completely.

I always leave with a checklist of things to do next time. Don’t correct others. Don’t act like you know what you’re talking about. Stop trying to make stupid jokes with the experienced players. Stay away from HER. Get HER to like you. Figure out why THAT one seems to hate you so much. Stop being such a little bitch and get over it.

This never ending checklist has nothing to do with my actual derby skills, and always has to do my people skills.

And yet no matter how much it terrifies or bewilders me, it also invigorates and inspires me. How can that be? How can it be possible for it to lift me up, encourage, give me strength and power, yet also dredge up some of my deepest insecurities?

Who is this scared woman I've become?

And more importantly, HOW DO I GET RID OF HER?

 Ashley, the Accidental Olympian

A YEAR IN PHOTOS, 2009

Any time people bring up 2009 I dramatically roll my eyes, profess how much I wish to kick 2009 in the nuts, and then proclaim my elation at the top of my lungs that it is now officially 2010.

But, recently I've been given a homework assignment to be more positive, to look for the joy even in the middle of a shit storm, and to find something to smile about even if it feels like I might suddenly burst into tears. 

So, I sat down to my computer, the place where the thousands of pictures of the last year live and I began to scroll through the markers that make up 2009 for me. Suddenly I didn't need to PRETEND that there were amazing, wonderful, beautiful moments throughout 2009. There they all were.

Don't get me wrong, there was a LOT of shit that happened in 2009, but the pictures also told another story, one of new beginnings, happiness, laughter, vacations, life changing experiences and love.

2009, you were one cruel bitch at times, but you were also an amazing teacher, and surprisingly, also quite the giver.

A Year in Photos, 2009 from Accidental Olympian on Vimeo.

Song by Dave Matthews Band, "So Damn Lucky."

For those of you who cannot view the Vimeo version, please enjoy my Year in Photos via You Tube.

*One of these days I will be able to afford the fancy HD membership through Vimeo. And when that happens, you'll finally be able to see this video like I can, crystal clear. Until then I leave you with a slightly blurry version of 2009. I guess we all can't be rock stars. *

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS...

ARE FOR PUSSIES.

OK. That's a lie, I don't even believe that, but it threw you off a bit didn't it?

Score.


But seriously, do you make New Years Resolutions? I don't. Well, that's actually a lie too now that I think about it. There are TWO resolutions back from my high school days that I still remember making and then completing.

See, I used to pick my nose in public A LOT. I am pretty sure that the larger your nose is, the more likely you are to collect stalagmite sized boogers in your nose cave. Seeing as my nose is freakishly large (Thanks Mom!), it has just always been my talent to collect, and then remove the massive boogers that live in my nose. Because of this unfortunate curse I used to pick with abandon. Sort of like a, "You'd do it too if you had this nose," sort of middle finger to the world.

Then I started high school. And suddenly I realized something had to change. If they didn't I was pretty sure I was going to get beat up or tossed in a locker, or something equally cliché. I had been openly picking my nose for quite a long time, enough time to have most all of the people in my life comment on it once, or twice, or lets be honest, probably like 700 times. So to scale back the public humiliation I made a resolution to cut that shit out. At least in public that is.

And I totally did it!

That year I cut back my public nose picking at LEAST 75%.

Impressive right?

You don't seem very impressed.

Another memorable resolution would be my sophomore year resolution to lose my virginity.

Yep. Sorry Dad. And Mom. And all relatives and close family friends who read this. HI EVERYONE! LOVE YOU! Feel free to skip this post and come back tomorrow!

But it's true. That year I joked with friends that my resolution was to lose my virginity. It was seriously lame and I was sick of toting it around with me all the time. It didn't fit in my purse any longer and always clashed with my outfit. And hot damn if four months later I didn’t just go ahead and check off that New Years Resolution! Not nearly as spectacular as I'd hoped though I should add. What with it being in a garage, on a couch, and lasting like 2 minutes and all. Oh well.

Be careful what you wish for kids!

This is all a very long winded and embarrassing way of saying that this year my New Years Resolution will be, well nothing.

They're lame.

And when I do make them they never come true.

Unless of course I make a resolution involving nose picking or my virginity.

And I obviously already have those two topics TOTALLY under control.

 

THANKS & GIVING

My impulse in this moment is to be anything BUT thankful. I mean, I am hosting my very first ‘real’ Thanksgiving dinner, and the stress of that alone would send anyone a little nuts. Toss in the fact that this will be the first time Adam and I mix our family members during the holidays just adds another level of chaos to an already wild day. Top that all off with a whopping illness the likes of which I haven't experienced in years and I don’t think a single person would fault me if I said I was fighting the urge to crawl under the covers and reemerge on Monday when the Thanksgiving holiday has passed. 

BUT, even with all that, the stress, and the anxiety, and the illness there is a lot to be thankful and excited about today.

When I left for college, Thanksgiving was one of those holidays that sort of had to fall by the wayside. Tickets were always way too much for our family to justify spending for a four day weekend, and so very quickly I learned the easiest way not to be sad on Thanksgiving was to do non-Thanksgiving-ish things. Like go to Canada with a girlfriend to shop, eat Italian food, and go on a bar crawl. It's hard to think about your family and friends sitting down to a turkey dinner without you when you're 5 drinks deep, gazing into the eyes of some Canadian Mounty. 

Thanksgiving had started to become a holiday I dreaded. Who would I pawn myself on this year? How would I deflect this family holiday? But this year I've finally begun to rebuild the idea of a family filled Thanksgiving I've felt was missing. Adam and I were able to bring people from each of our families together under our roof to eat drink and be merry. Sure there have already been serious spills, issues with the menu, a pumpkin pie I am sure I under seasoned (serious WHO messes up pumpkin pie? It has like 2 ingredients!), a dog fight, and I am am certain there are more mishaps to come, but it feels worth it. This very well could be the heavy doses of cold medicine talking, but at this point I'm too doped up to question. 

Surprisingly all the stress and nonsense which would typically be driving me absolutely insane doesn't seem to matter. Right now as family gathers around the fire, drinks coffee and gears up for a truly tremendous eat-a-ton tonight, there is nowhere I'd rather be. This is such an interesting glimmer into my future, a future where once again I might enjoy Thanksgiving because it will represent a time of coming together, instead of a holiday that reminds me of all that I am missing.

I wish you a family or friend filled holiday weekend. And if you're not able to surround yourself with friends and family this year, I strongly suggest you head North and find yourself a friendly Canadian. They really have this magical power to make the sting of the holidays dissipate with ease.

FOILED PLANS

The greatest thing about spending time with a close friend you haven't seen in a while is that even when all your previous plans of fabulousness, nonsense, and mindless fraternization fall through, you can still manage to have an amazing night.

 

My 'perfect outfit' never made it out of the bag. The painfully beautiful shoes never got a chance to mangle my toes, and I never even put a dab of makeup on. My five pennies weren't spent on tequila shots, but on Doritos, and two bottles of Cook's Champagne (I am pretty sure I just heard my friend who lives in France sigh dramatically after reading the words Cook's and Champagne in the same sentence). But what can I say, we're classy bitches.

Sitting there in my borrowed zebra print Snuggie, in front of the fire, watching a horrible, but also delightfully enjoyable chick flick I couldn't have been more content. Now that our friendship exists with a West Coast - East Coast divide, we let the Seattle nightlife rage below us and instead used the time we had together to just be.

In the nearly 9 months I've lived in Olympia I've met a lot of amazing people, and even been lucky enough to begin to build on some truly genuine friendships. But the newness of some of these friendships still leaves me with social anxiety, and at times I feel as if I am speed dating, without the benefits of sexual tension to keep them interested.

Yet as I sat there Saturday night in the world worst ensemble, doing basically nothing and having an amazing time, I remembered how nice it is to be apart of a seasoned friendship. These 'favorite pair of jeans' types of friendships have become priceless, place markers from various chapters of my life, and the life preservers that enable me to feel as if life is indeed manageable.

Who knew a night in with junk food and bad sparking wine could help put life just a little more into perspective?