Looking for a good book? I can’t promise I read one this year you’ll be interested in reading, but below are short reviews of what I’ve read so far this year. If you’re still looking, check out what I read in:
What is the What, by Dave Eggars
A sometimes graphic and horrifying look at the struggle of the Lost Boys during the Sudanese civil war. I wont lie, this book is sometimes painful to read, but in that same moment it forces you to take a look at something that has happened in our world that seems to have escaped the history text books and national media. Maybe I am to blame for not already knowing more about this topic, I’m not sure. Either way, a MUST read.
Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, by Malcolm Gladwell
This book dissects the judgments and decisions we make that occur in a split second. From police work, to heart attacks, unconscious racial profiling and job interviews, Malcolm touches on the power of the split moment judgments happening without our control. I probably read something out loud to Adam off every 5th page. He was enlightened, but VERY irritated at the end of Chapter 1.
Bright Shiny Morning, by James Frey.
Yes, this is THE James Frey. The one from A Million Little Pieces who was tared and feathered for GASP adding in untrue situations to his ‘memoir’. Give me a break. Anyway, James is back with his ‘novel’ and this time it’s about Los Angeles. I loved it because once you adapt to James’ weird world of punctuation his book becomes alternating chapters on the true history of LA, mixed with fictional stories of the slew of characters who call this magical place ‘home’. Twisted as always, but also shockingly touching. Read it.
Talk, Talk, by T.C. Boyle.
This book wasn’t at all what I expected. Reading the description I thought GAG, but once I was in I was hooked. This book is about a deaf woman who finds her identity has been compromised by the king of all scam artists. She takes off with her boyfriend to track down the skeeze who has destroyed her credit, her finances and her life, and the result is more than surprising. Having had my bank account tampered with by a scammer while in college, I never expected that T.C. Boyle would actually successfully convince me to feel empathy for the scammer as well as the scammed. Fast read, and worth it.
When Madeline Was Young, by Jane Hamilton
The premise behind this story immediately had me thinking, “Is this sweet? Or disturbing?” A young couple finds their lives altered when wife Madeline gets into an accident, instantly decreasing her mental function to that of a 6 year old. Madeline’s husband falls in love with his wife’s nurse, and later the two marry and raise Madeline as their ‘daughter’ of such. The story, from the accident, to life with this adult child and the resulting marriage and future children is told through the eyes of the second couples, son. CONFUSING RIGHT? The prose jumped around a lot, and at times I felt it was too far fetched to believe they could all live as one dysfunctional family, but the ending was so simple and sweet that it enabled me to walk away with a good taste in my mouth. Definitely a beach/vacation read.
The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak.
Be not fooled, this book is listed as a Young Adult title. That being said, it’s one of my favorite titles. And I ain’t no Young Adult. I shall let the WA Post tell you about this tome, “The narrator of The Book Thief is many things — sardonic, wry, darkly humorous, compassionate — but not especially proud. As author Marcus Zusak channels him, Death — who doesn’t carry a scythe but gets a kick out of the idea — is as afraid of humans as humans are of him… Death meets the book thief, a 9-year-old girl named Liesel Meminger, when he comes to take her little brother, and she becomes an enduring force in his life, despite his efforts to resist her. ‘I traveled the globe . . . handing souls to the conveyor belt of eternity,’ Death writes. ‘I warned myself that I should keep a good distance from the burial of Liesel Meminger’s brother. I did not heed my advice.’ As Death lingers at the burial, he watches the girl, who can’t yet read, steal a gravedigger’s instruction manual. Thus Liesel is touched first by Death, then by words, as if she knows she’ll need their comfort during the hardships ahead…. Death, like Liesel, has a way with words. And he recognizes them not only for the good they can do, but for the evil as well. What would Hitler have been, after all, without words? As this book reminds us, what would any of us be?” Read. This. Book. Then tell me what you thought.
Please do not read this book if you are hoping to hear the literary voice of Augusten Burroughs. John Elder, Augusten’s older brother has Asperger’s syndrome, which can be described as ‘low spectrum autism’, and he went undiagnosed until he was in his 40’s. Although a high functioning version of autism, asperger’s changes drastically the way in which John Elder interacts with others, he is unable to make eye contact, lacks a social filter, and is a savant in the world of engineering and mechanics to name a few quirks. John Elder tells a detached tale of what it was like to live in a world where you are unable to connect with others in the manner society deems ‘acceptable’. An enlightening book focusing on an increasingly diagnosed disorder.
The Book of Salt, by Monique Truong
I am going to be completely honest with you, this book is not going to make it onto the ‘Favorites Shelf’ in the guest room. As quoted by Booklist, “Drawing inspiration from a fleeting reference in the Alice B. Toklas Cook Book(1954) to two ‘Indochinese’ men who at one point cooked for Toklas and Gertrude Stein, Truong has concocted a delectable fictional memoir. Faced with the decision about whether to accompany Stein and Toklas to America, return to Vietnam, or remain in France, Binh, the Vietnamese cook who has labored for the unconventional ladies he has dubbed ‘The Steins,’ for about five years, reflects back on his troubled life and times.” The story moves in a very fluid manner through everything from childhood, to present time, to his twenties and back to childhood in a way that at times felt mesmerizing and lovely, and at others completely confusing and in my opinion unnecessary. Although this COULD have something to do with the fact that I read 90% of this book while I was traveling to and from NYC and therefore completely doped up on Zanex. So basically this review sucks and you’re on your own!
Icy Sparks, by Gwyn Hyman Rubio
When I read the back of the book cover to Adam he gave a big dramatic sigh and declared, “You read the most depressing books in the world.” A book about a young girl growing up with undiagnosed Tourettes Syndrome, a story where the heroine feels completely unable to adapt to the world around her, a girl with no mother, raised by her loving but confused grandparents, a child who’s only friend is a 400 pound adult, a stint in a mental hospital where the main character struggles and still remains undiagnosed, WHAT ISN’T TO LOVE ADAM? I was so on board with this book, the style, the struggle of the main character, the way the reader begins to realize this book isn’t simply talking about the pain of living with Tourettes but actually the difficulties each of us face attempting to fit into society, and then WHAM the ending. Ugg the ending. Maybe YOU will love the ending, but all I can tell you is that I rolled my eyes a LOT in the last 30 pages. Read it, then tell me if you rolled your eyes too.
Bad Dirt, by Annie Proulx
I wont lie to you, I expected big things from Annie Proulx’s collection of short stories on Wyoming. Her first collection Close Range includes the story Brokeback Mountain; which as long as you haven’t been living under a rock in the last 5 years you all know about. I loved Brokeback Mountain the movie, I thought it was beautifully written, I thought it was complex, ahead of its time, thought provoking, basically I love me some cowboy romance. So I incorrectly assumed the stories in Bad Dirt would evoke those same feelings. I don’t hate the stores in Bad Dirt, but I definitely never thought to myself, “Now THIS story would make an Oscar winning movie!” A few stories did actually speak to me seeing as each one breaks down the idiosyncrasies of small town living, and I did grow up in a small cowboy-esk town, but on the other hand some of the characters felt inflated and too overly romanticized to be entirely believable. In the end the only conclusion I can come to is that either I suck at finding the meaning in Annie’s work, or someone paid the reviewers at the NY Times, the Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Seattle Times and LA Times a lot of money to say such nice things about her stories.
The Road, by Cormac McCarthy
Adam’s mother first told me about The Road by saying it was one of the most depressing books she has ever read. She wasn’t lying. I sat down to read The Road on a Saturday morning around 10am, and by 2:30 that day I had finished the book. This is the first time I have ever finished a book in one sitting. That should tell you something about the content. The prose of The Road is simplistic, and very quickly you realize that the simple sentence structure helps to convey a sense of isolation, hunger, want, scarcity, loneliness, and loss without needing lengthy paragraphs. You actually feel the plight of father and son attempting to survive in an apocalyptic world without the wasted prose. Throughout the book I couldn’t help but wonder if I would have the same strength to continue forward day after day, year after year. I can’t say if I would have the instincts to survive if I woke in the predatory world the father and son found themselves attempting to survive in… An amazing story of survival, love, and courage. Read this book, but I’d keep the Kleenex handy just in case.
Disgrace, by JM Coetzee
Can I just come out and say right off that bat that I really liked this book? Great. This is a story of a bored professor at a university in Cape Town who finds himself in quite the situation with a female student. I was totally hooked on that premise alone I have to say. Mostly because I have always wondered about people who happen to have affairs with teachers. I mean, most of mine were heinous looking individuals I would most definitely NEVER want to see naked. Except for my French teacher that is. OMG I wanted to see him naked every day of the week, I just had a hard time turning fantasy into reality if you know what I mean. But anyway, the book really takes off when the professor finds himself in a small farming town in Africa living on his daughters farm. The story takes an unsuspecting turn for the father from needing to be nurtured to being the nurturer, and I couldn’t help but wonder how I might have reacted in this same situation. The narration is simplistic yet captivating and the story reeks of drama, without ever feeling dramatic. A short book, but a must read.
Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
It’s amazing the shit storm you can create if you happen to say to someone that you HATE this book, even worse actually publicly proclaim you LOVED it. The book is broken into three sections, Italy, India, and lastly Indonesia. The first portion, the Italy portion, stole my heart. Here is a woman torn to pieces from a messy divorce who heads to Italy to eat pasta, learn Italian, and learn to be truly happy again. At the time I was reading this section I too was in the middle of a small personal happiness mission myself, so I couldn’t help but feel immensely connected to the Italy section. I even prematurely proclaimed I LOVED this book, and immediately heard a million voices hiss, and then a million sigh in agreement. The India section helped me realize why people detested this book so much. No matter how I try I am incapable of being interested in her spiritual journey. Chapters filled with explanations of blue light filling her soul bored me to tears. The final Indonesia chapter reminded me a little of the Italy section as it was more about relationships and happiness and less about the search for God, but after being tainted so fully by the India chapter, I never fully recovered. In the end, I honestly read this book so I could watch the upcoming release of the movie with a critical eye. I hate seeing a movie without having read the book. I highly recommend this book for a plane ride, or pool day. This will not change your life, but the Italy section might make you want to cook up some pasta.
Belong To Me, by Marisa de Los Santos
So just to clarify, I will read ANY book, and I finish every single book I read no matter what. Now that we’ve covered that, it took me about 70 pages to connect the fact that Belong To Me is the second book following on the story from Marissa de Los Santos first book, Love Walked In. All of a sudden I found myself going, “I KNOW THESE PEOPLE!” Turns out my mother gifted me a series of sorts way back in the day. Who knew? Lets be honest, these books are very Jodi Picoult in their style. Mushy, not that well written, and fast as all hell to read. The chapters alternate between points of view which kept me interested, but lordy is the plot soap operaish. The children in this book are WAY too amazingly behaved, you know all the twists and turns with the dramatic plot of ‘who’s my daddy?’ will be resolved in a neat little package, and never once do you find yourself pondering much of anything besides your own hunger. BUT, because I am someone who loves the act of reading probably more than I sometimes even like the books I’m reading, I ate this book up. It was fast, and predictable, but the same way I can watch an Oscar winning movie and love it, and then watch a chick flick and fall in love with its cheesy nature, I sorta also enjoyed reading this book. It wont win ANY literary awards, and you definitely don’t need to have read the first book to get the gist, so if you’re looking for a fast guilty pleasure read, THIS is your book.
I really enjoyed this book. It is a fast, and pretty light read, taking you through the early years of Ruth Reichl. The book introduces you to the moments that helped shape her into the foodie she eventually became, without making you feel like you were getting a lecture on, “How I Became Gourmet’s Editor in Chief.” Her style of writing captivated me with its personality and closeness, and her character development, ESPECIALLY stories about her mother were superb. The beginning chapters about her mother’s terrible food, and how little Ruth felt it was her duty to protect guests from illness was painful, hilarious, and touching all at the same time. Wonderful book, even if you’re anything BUT a foodie, like me.
The Last Lecture, by Randy Pausch
This book was given to me when I graduated from college in March of 2008, and at the time it was the Oprah suggested MUST GIVE college grad gift. Obviously it has been waiting a while for its turn to be read, and I can’t help but wonder if I had read the book around the time I graduated if I might have actually liked it more. It seems difficult though to dislike this book seeing as it exists simply because a man realized he was dying of terminal cancer and wanted to leave his stamp on the world. How can I dislike his final statement without being struck by lightening? Or finding myself caught in a flash flood? Or having my house covered in locust? But alas, I didn’t like it. I enjoyed the book when Randy got personal. Stories about how he met his wife, about making memories with his children, but the section near the end where he listed off things like, “Write handwritten thank you notes,” and told a story about a student who applied to his program and made the cut because of her hand written note just did nothing for me. These little ‘tips’ about life were so filled with, “Look how amazing of a person/father/friend/teacher I am” antidotes I could hardly stand Randy by the end. And I think that last sentence just solidified my place in hell.
Ok, first can I just say that the cover of this book and the contents of the book DO NOT FIT ONE ANOTHER. The cover makes the story sound like a harlequin romance novel, but the book is actually a well written account of what it was like being married to the famous climber Alex Lowe. The book gives the most amazing accounts of their climbs in their early 20’s, about the nomadic lifestyle they built together, exposes the struggles that come from being married to a professional climber who always longs to be on the mountain, and ultimately the pain of losing someone you love to the very wilderness they love so dearly. The aftermath of Alex’s death where Jenni and Conrad Anker find love and solace in one another is such a small part of the book, yet the cover and the back copy of the book make it sound like one big Lifetime movie! A great read, exposing the world behind the scenes of some of our nations most famous mountaineers.
Swimming with Strangers, by Kirsten Sundberg Lunstrum
I adored this book. It is a collection of short stories that all take a very close look at the, “nuances and complexities of women’s relationships with their lovers, friends, and families,” (back cover). It’s difficult to explain why each story felt like a precious gift to me. I believe it has something to do with the way the endings are anti climactic, but in a way that doesn’t leave the reader hanging. Instead they reminded me of real life. Of how things are never wrapped up nicely in neat little packages, about how people continue on even when things are less than perfect, and that in the end life can ultimately leave us feeling underwhelmed. A simple, but great read.
Lucy, by Jamaica Kincaid
This is a very fast read. I read 105 pages in my first sit down in about 45 minutes. Jamaica writes predominately about the struggles of women with this particular book following the young woman Lucy as she spends a year in New York as an au pair for a wealthy family. I loved the story because it focused on the issues surrounding expectations vs reality. Lucy has longed to live her life in America since before she could remember, yet upon finding her dream a reality she begins to realize her depression will keep her from ever escaping the troubles of her past. A short, yet complex book.
When You Are Engulfed In Flames, by David Sedaris
I can’t help but feel that Sedaris is losing his edge. Don’t get me wrong! I’m a Sedaris fan. I waited something like 5 hours on a work night to finally get a chance to have him predict my first born would be named Cletus, and then sign my book. Me Talk Pretty One Day is an AMAZING book, the book that got me hooked on Sedaris worship. But this, this book is simply beginning to feel contrite. The final story is about how Sedaris finally quit smoking. And you know it’s going to be quirky, because it’s Sedaris, except it’s also littered with how amazing and special his life is. I mean the man went to Toyko, Japan to live in a high rise apartment for three months JUST to quit smoking. His stories scattered in the book about his childhood are still clever and entertaining, and as always Sedaris’s stories about the people he meets on airplanes will always deliver, but his dabbling into his current life, a life where his biggest challenge for the day is catching flies for his pet spider erk me. I wanted to scream, “GET A JOB SEDARIS,” but then I remember that his job is to tell me stories about catching flies and feeding them to a pet spider, and then I realize that *I* in fact am feeding his ability to live a life of extreme and utter luxury where he has the funds to live in Toyko for three months simply to quit smoking, and then I get all confused about my role in this situation, and suddenly I’m not sure how to feel about Sedaris. But most of the time I think he should just take up drinking again. Drunk Sedaris had the best stories. So, if I was you I’d still read it, because there really are some gems in there, but I can’t help but think that he might be losing his charm.
The Cold Dish, by Craig Johnson
I had never heard of Craig Johnson or his best selling series until I was asked us to come to an author reading. What started as a, “eh we’ll see how this goes” moment quickly turned into, “OMG I LOVE CRAIG JOHNSON.” I knew if his writing was half as good as his story telling ability then I’d love his books. AND, I do. The Cold Dish is set in small town WY surrounding a very small sheriffs department as they attempt to solve a murder that quickly spins into something much larger than a hunting accident. What I loved about the book is that Johnson’s writing is familiar. Although he does a wonderful job of setting the scene, and has a flourish for description, he also stays true to the idea of a small town community both in character development and writing style. This is the kind of book anyone could enjoy, and it has completely enamored me to the troubled, always down on his luck, extremely depressed sheriff you can’t help but love, Walt Longmire.
Oxygen: A Novel, by Carol Cassella
This book is Greys Anatomy, without all the unbelievable crap. I say that because this book is filled with medical drama, real life drama, twists and turns, as well as the realities and unfortunate layers that make up our medical system without any crazy love triangles. Carol Cassella, an anesthesiologist herself, never loses the reader in medical jargon, and weaves both a highly stressful malpractice suit with the daily complexities of being a full time doctor into the character of Marie. Having the book built mostly around a medical malpractice suit might seem dull, yet Carol Cassella does a beautiful job of displaying the flaws in our medical and legal system while depicting the unraveling of both the professional and personal life of Marie. One easily sympathizes with the pain Marie is suffering as her life crumbles around her, and the twists in the end turn what I thought would be a straightforward Jodi Picoult type legal case drama, into a true mystery I was frantically trying to finish. Definitely a fun read.
Island, by Aldous Huxley
I HATED this book. This book essentially carries the same premise of Kurt Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle, without actually being good. I understand what Huxley is trying to do, he’s trying to show how the human race and the industrialized world, and capitalism, and modern religion are complete bastardizations of the human beings true purpose and are so off base we’re actually destroying the world we live in. He wants to show how far removed we are from ourselves, from our nature, from being genuine versions of ourselves, but instead the entire book is more lecture than story. This entire 350+ page book could have been achieved in an essay. Don’t read this book. Read Cat’s Cradle instead. You might learn something AND laugh once in a while instead of reading Island and wanting to beat your head against a wall.
Nineteen Minutes, by Jodi Picoult
I enjoyed this book. As an English major I know I’m not supposed to have enjoyed myself, but I did. It is a fast read, with sometimes under developed characters, BUT the topic of what causes a child to become a high school shooter, and the pressures of popularity on junior high and high school kids kept me interested. Wither or not Jodi is able to shed insightful light on how to remedy the issue remains to be seen, and I am not sure in a million years the twist in the end EVER would have happened, but still, I wanted to know why Peter eventually chose violence. It’s almost second nature as you’re reading to remember any high school insecurities you felt, jocks that made you feel like shit, people you tried to impress but failed, people you pushed around to lift yourself up. I found myself reflecting while reading, and wondering how far a person truly would have to be pushed before they pushed back. At the end of the day, 19 Minutes gets my vote for a perfect beach/vacation read.
How Evan Broke His Head & Other Secrets, by Garth Stein
I loved this book. The progression of interest for me picked up fairly quickly, and by the end of the first quarter of the book I was absolutely hooked on the story. Garth Stein is a wonderful writer, full of description without losing interest, and his characters are full, flawed and lovable. I found the two main plot lines of the book, Evan’s epilepsy he hides from the world, and his sudden relationship with his 14 year old son to be endlessly fascinating. More than anything, when the book ended I wished and prayed that Stein would write a second book so I might know how things turned out for Evan and Dean. A must read.
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, by Gregory Maguire
I really enjoyed this book. I had seen Wicked the musical last year and I was absolutely in love with the idea of laying unexpected back-story to a very familiar and cherished movie. What I loved about the book Wicked is how one is able to expand twelve fold on the life of the Wicked Witch of the West far beyond what is covered in the play. The character of the Wicked Witch of the West becomes a woman you empathize with, care for, and ultimately want to see succeed. The ‘bad guy’ of the movies is turned around and one discovers a woman that is tortured, lost, confused, and surprisingly striving to bring about good to the entire region of Oz. It was also interesting to compare movie to book, book to play, play to movie while reading. A continual loop of stories connected, veering away from one another, or at times shockingly different. In the end, the book is a surprisingly dark twist on a story we all know and love, and most definitely an interesting read.
The Lacuna, by Barbara Kingsolver
I am a huge Barbara Kingsolver fan, so I admit I expected The Lacuna to have a certain tone to it. The Lacuna is unlike most of Kingsolver’s books though as it is a work of fiction, but exists with such historical detail and clarity I at times found myself believing it was a retelling of historical fact. Kingsolver does a beautiful job of telling the complex story of Harrison Shepherd; American, Mexican, cook, writer, traveler, introvert. Kingsolver weaved in the struggles of normal Americans being mercifully and unjustly persecuted as Anti-American Communists into the final quarter of the book, and I couldn’t help but be riveted by the similarities to fear mongering tactics that exist today in American politics. I agree with the claim that this is one of Kingsoler’s most ambitious novels as it changes, fluctuates, and grows throughout it’s 500 pages in ways I never could have predicted. By the end I had become immensely attached to Harrison Shepherd, and secretly wished Harrison Shepherd was indeed a real man I could research, and go on to read one of his infamous books. A must read.
Beluga Days: Tracking the Endangered White Whale, by Nancy Lord
I must agree with the review by Booklist that this book is an, “intriguing blend of scientific writing and impassioned journal of discovery.”I loved the way Nancy Lord managed to openly and honestly display both the environmentalists arguments for protection while also managing to get the reader to empathise and understand the continued need for beluga hunting for a variety of Native Alaskan cultures. Lord does not argue for one cause to be blamed for the low Cook Inlet Beluga numbers, she does not push one stoic agenda throughout the book, she instead attempts to understand and share with the reader the vastly complex relationships of all Alaskans and the smiling beluga. A very different read for me, and most definitely not a beach read, but very interesting and an eye opening book if you consider yourself to be an animal lover and protector.
Death Without Company, by Craig Johnson
I devoured Craig Johnson’s second book in the Walt Longmire series, Death Without Company. This book was a wildly fast read, and I found myself more invested in the murder investigation this go round than I did with the first book. I think having already gotten to know some of the main players helped me feel more connected to their quest to find out who murdered the lonely local Basque woman. I still find Craig Johnson’s writing style inviting, and the more I read about Wyoming in the dead of winter, the more I strangely wish to visit. For now I’ll stick to reading about it though. A fun read, highly recommend.
Dreams From My Father, by Barack Obama
I wasn’t sure how I’d like Dreams From My Father. I was worried that like most politicians Obama’s book would be 90% fluff, and 10% meat. I couldn’t have been more wrong. This book was beautiful. Although I am unable to identify with his personal struggle of growing up between two worlds, and I can’t even begin to fathom what it must be like to feel as if you belong and at the same time don’t belong in your community, with each sentence I wanted more. Barack Obama first and foremost is a beautiful writer. Knowing that he wrote this book before he’d ever taken office, in the Senate or the White House made me respect and appreciate him more than I expected. He is brutally honest about the struggles he’s faced finding where he belongs in this world, and never once did I believe I was reading copy meant to sway the audience or voter in his favor. I suggest this book to everyone; EVEN people who did not vote for Obama. I believe that reading this book might actually allow a few Tea Partiers to see a side of their current leader they might never expect. Highly recommended.
Backcast, buy Lou Ureneck
I half enjoyed and was half irritated with this book. I found myself very engaged when Lou was writing about the trip he was taking with his son; ten days of fishing without a guide down 50 miles of a wild Alaskan river. When he would speak in the moment about their trip, their struggles to reconnect, danger they encountered, even the beauty of fishing in Alaska I found myself very interested. I understood the need to incorporate flashbacks into the storyline as a way to better understand why Lou struggled with his reasons for getting a divorce, and how flashbacks demonstrated his issues with coping with what the divorce has done to his family, but I felt his flashbacks were at times disjointing and seemed usually to run on far too long. Mixed feeling about the book as a whole, but I will say that it made me dream of an Alaskan vacation of my own. Just with less rain, and bear encounters that is.
The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kid
There is very little to say about this book besides that I loved it. Loved nearly everything about it. From the prose, to the plot, the characters, to the themes I was hooked. I found the book was over far sooner than I wanted it to be, and for the first time in a long time I am itching to see the movie, if only to be reconnected with the characters of this lovely book again. A MUST read.
Want to know EVEN MORE about the books I’ve read, am reading, and even maybe the ones on my to-read shelf? Then hop over to my goodreads account and lets be book nerd friends!
Dying for even more Accidental Olympian book nonsense? Well, would you like to hear a funny story about how goodreads made me look like an idiot? You do? Great. I hope you enjoy every minute of my humiliation.